Can you forgive me?
by ImDiffrentSoWhat
Summary: HIATUS. This one...I don't really know where I want it to go. When Edward comes back in New Moon, Bella's not so sure she can trust him. Forgive, yes, forget, no.
1. Back from Italy

"Edward…how…you…what are you saying?" I spluttered.

"I'm saying I only left because I wanted you to be safe, and that I love you, and I want you to take me back, will you?" Edward asked looking at me with midnight fire eyes.

"I…I…" I stuttered I didn't know what to do. I hadn't thought of him wanting me because I didn't want to get my hopes up for nothing.

"I see, you've moved on, that is…quiet fair." And he started to get up.

"NO!" I spoke so impulsively and stopped, I have to control myself better. And Edward quickly wrapped his arms around me.

"I wont go anywhere, unless you order me away." He promised and I couldn't resist snuggling into his chest.

"Just give me a minute to think." He went rigid but nodded. "I cant love you again, because I never stopped. I think I can forgive you, you were, after all, only trying to keep me safe. But I don't think I can trust you, atleast not for a while." I admitted.

"You can take me back? After all the pain I caused you, you can forgive me." Edward asked sounding hopeful. "Oh, Bella, you truly are more then I deserve, I have no idea what I did to make someone out there so happy with me, that they gave me an angel. And then even when I broke that angel, they still give me another chance. Bella, I saw your face every second I was away, and so many times I nearly boarded a plane and came back here to you, I love you, my sweet, innocent, Bella. Oh, my love, I love you Bella love." He said over and over kissing my head.

"Edward?" I asked hopeful, there was something I wanted him to do.

"Yes my sweet love?" He sang holding me snug to his bare chest.

"Would you…" I trailed off, I wanted him to kiss me badly, I had been without his glass smooth lips on my own for so long. But I was afraid, afraid he wouldn't want to kiss me, wouldn't he of done it by now if he did?

"Yes Bella, what is it?" He asked sweetly.

"Never mind, I changed my mind."

"Bella, what is it you want? Just tell me, and you can have it." Edward asked, and I just shook my head. "Please Bella, tell me what it is you want." And his eyes were so persuasive that I had no choice but to answer.

"Would you…kiss me?" My voice made the request a question, Edward seemed surprised then smiled hugely.

"Nothing would make me happier." And then he kissed me, it was like air after being under water too long. Like water after centuries of drought. Like a grate pain suddenly stopping. There were no words for this, with the kiss I could feel how sorry Edward was, how much he missed me, how torturous it was for him. And I tried to pour all my love, and acceptances into the kiss, I wanted him to know I was here, and no matter what I loved him. Eventually we had to break away, but even then we were still holding each other, like we would be for the rest of eternity.


	2. Vist the Family

I was sleeping, really sleeping, with no nightmares disturbing my slumber. I felt something cool rub my back soothingly, oh that felt so nice. I relaxed further and then heard the most magical beautiful voice.

"Bella love, time to get up." I sighed, I didn't want to get up. "I'm sorry love, but my family is pretty much demanding to see you again. And if we don't get to my house soon, they may just raid yours."

I degradedly got up, I guess going to his house wouldn't be so bad. I quickly pulled out a pair of black sweats and a black knitted tank top with a broken heart on the bottom right corner. With my bag of totalities I headed into the bathroom. After a quick shower, and brushed teeth and hair I headed out. I quickly put on some comfy sneakers and threw on my coat as I headed out with Edward to his Volvo. He raised an eyebrow at my wardrobe choice but said nothing.

Soon we were at his house, he held open the door for me and took my coat. Just like the gentleman he was. Before he could even hold my hand again his whole family came bounding down. Alice quickly enveloped me in a hug.

"Oh Bella, it's so great to see you again. I think your fashion sense has gotten even worse. No problem, we can take a trip to the mall later." Alice spoke, I know I couldn't be mean when I told her no. So help me, if she tries to guilt me into it I will not stand for it.

"No Alice, no need for any shopping." I said with a laugh.

"Nonsense, shopping is exactly what's called for here." Alice said with a twinkle like bell laugh.

"Alice, I said no."

"Come on Bella, please?"

"Alice, you know how much I hate shopping." I had meant for those words to have a sense of finality, but apparently they had a sense of wavering instead. She thought only a small push would be what was called for, and why not be extra certain that I'd give in then threw guilt.

"Come on Bella, you know I don't have any memories of my human life. Please don't ruin it for me." Alice asked making her eyes really big.

"Alice. I. Said. No." I accentuated each word, I really hope she would let this go.

"Pshft, your wasting your time Alice. Let the little human go." Rosalie taunted. I wanted to snap at her, I wanted to know what her _problem _is. I want to pull out every waist length strand of her blonde hair. But I won't I wont harm her. Or tell her off, theirs only one course of action left.

"I think it'd be best if I go now." I said simply, "it's been really great to see all of you again." I try to maneuver out of Edward's arms but Carsile starts talking.

"Bella, stay awhile their's no need to go home."

"Yes, Rosalie didn't mean anything by it, right Rosalie?" Esme quickly agreed.

"Whatever." Rosalie relented after a quick glare that I didn't miss.

"Just ignore Rosalie love, that's what I do." Edward whispered gently to me.

"No, it has nothing to do with Rosalie, I just promised I'd call a friend of mine." I wasn't lying, technically. I needed to call Jacob, tell him I was alright and see if he'd talk to me.

"Come on Bella, stay." Alice spoke looking like a lost puppy.

"Yeah, even to humans your stay would be too short." Emmett kidded.

"I really can't guys, I completely forgot but I have to call him."

"Call who, Love?" Edward asked his arm tighten slightly.

"A friend of mine, I don't think you know him." I waved off with a sigh.

"Doesn't he have a name?" Edward asked again.

"Yeah he does, it's Jacob Black." I shrugged. Edward and Alice both tensed at the same time.

"Werewolves are dangerous Bella, they could snap at any moment. Sometimes the people around them get hurt." Edward looked into my eyes.

"I know," I shrugged, they had explained it the first time that I had figured it out. Paul had attacked me, and I had seen Emily Young's scar, from when Sam lost control, myself. But that didn't matter, Jacob's my best friend, if to hang with him I have to be in a bit of danger, okay. It's not like I'm not constantly in danger anyway.

Edward was extremely tensed, he now seemed like a ice statue more then ever. "Bella, you know they are dangerous, _and you still willingly be around them_!" Edward seethed.

"Yes, they explained that, told me their was a risk." I glared, it was my decision. They had explained that they'd like to protect me but sometimes they lost control. I hanged out with Jacob more then I did with any of them, and I'd take the risk for him.

"Bella, are you insane! You cant have werewolf friends! You cant!" Edward screeched shaking my shoulder slightly.

"Why not?!" I asked.

"What a stupid girl, you know that they could kill you easily and you still choose to be around them. You truly are a girl that human life was wasted on." Rosalie gloated.

That is the straw that broke the camel's back.

"You listen here _Rosalie_, I don't know what your problem is but back off. I'm sick and tired of taking your crap, get this and get it now. I am not taking your guy's shit. I've had it. And you listen to." I spoke turning to Edward. "Who I'm friends with is my choice, not yours. It's my life to live, and if you don't like it you can _leave again_!" I screamed, I then turned and left.

"Let me drive you home." I heard a stiff bell voice.

"No thank you Alice, I prefer to walk." I said and began to walk holding back the tears till I was far enough away their vampire hearing couldn't hear me. I didn't mean any of it, I didn't want Edward to leave, I didn't mean to snap at Rosalie. Yet what was I supposed to do when she said I was a waste of human life? She could of kept it to herself, she could of said it low enough that I wouldn't hear, but she said it purposely loud enough that I could hear crystal clear. And the fact that I wanted to get the fact that Jacob is my friend and as long as he's willing to be my friend I will be his didn't exactly help.

I was just starting to let the first of my tears show when I felt already familiar icy arms encircle me. I leaned away silently crying, he wasn't having any of that and instead turned me around to hold me. I was crying into his chest before I realized what was going on.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, please don't leave again." I cried, I couldn't help myself.

"It's okay sweetheart, I wont leave again. I'm so sorry that Rosalie said that." Edward spoke kissing my forehead gently. He then picked me up bridal style and carried me slowly to my house. I continued to cry into his chest, he moved me slightly so I'd grip his back and climbed into my window. He quickly took off my shoes along with his and his shirt. He wrapped me up in the covers and held me closely.

The last thing I registered was Edward humming something I hadn't heard in months, my lullaby.


	3. Best Behaviour

When I woke up this time I felt groggy and pretty much incoherent. I looked at Edward who was still humming my lullaby I looked into his sorrow filled eyes and the past day rushed back.

I groaned, Edward thinking I was in pain started to lightly rub my back as he saw that I was awake.

"How do you feel Love?" He asked, how could he asked that? He knew perfectly well that I had pretty much completely made an ass out of myself around his family.

I groaned again and buried my face in the pillow. "Great, I totally had a mental breakdown around your family. I bet they all hate my guts now." I sighed, yet I couldn't quiet bring myself to completely regret it. I was probably still running on the high from standing up for myself, I would feel the full effects later.

Edward rubbed my back soothingly. "They don't Bella, they know how much pain they caused you. It was to be expected that you would react in such a way when Rosalie said that." Edward sighed, "I cant tell you how sorry I am for my pig headed sister, Bella. I had no idea she would even say that." He kissed me gently on the forehead. "Try to ignore it though Love, it's her jealousy talking. She is jealous of every human because she knows she will never be one again."

I shook my head, Edward didn't know. He didn't _understand_, how do you ignore someone telling you that everything you are. Every dream, every hope, every small victory and defeat, every precious memory. How do you handle someone telling you that it is all just a waste and your expected to ignore it, especially this early in the healing process. I cant tell Edward that, I cant burden him with it or explain it to him. The only one I'd ever be able to explain this to was Jacob.

Jacob! Crap, I had forgotten to call him-again. I am the worst best friend in the history of the world.

I sat up and reached for my phone. I dialed the number I knew by heart and waited for him to pick up. After the third ring I heard Billy's voice on an automated answering machine, I don't know if their there and refusing to accept calls from enemy's lines or if they really wernt home.

"_Hi, this is the Blacks house, were not home right now, please leave a message."_

"Hi, Jake it's Bella-" I didn't get to say any more because my phone was ripped from my hand. I turned quickly to see Edward, he shut the phone with a defining click. "What in the world?!" I asked glaring at him.

"Bella, werewolves contain a risk. Since you wont protect yourself I will." He said it with such finality that I was tempted to let it go, but he was interfering with me reconnecting with my best friend.

"Isn't the choice of who I hang out with mine to make?" I glared, I know that maybe Jacob might never want to talk to me again anyway. But that doesn't mean Edward has a right to do that.

"Just trust me please." Edward sighed and acted like that would fix everything. I realized now what was happing, he thought we were just going to shove the fact that he left aside. Along with all the other things that went with it: Jacob, my pain, my mistrust. Any talk of it is, as far as he's concerned, not necessary.

It is necessary though. It is very necessary, if we were to shove it back who knows when it would come back full force. And I don't want to forget, it was the worst time in my life but it showed me how strong I was. Edward is necessary to my survival but now I'm strong enough to live without oxygen. Did I really want him to take that strength away? No, and I wont let him. I forgave, he knows I did. Maybe it needs to be clarified that I will never forget. Forgiven, not forgotten.

"Edward, why on earth would I trust you? I still remember what happened last time I blindly trusted you. Just because I forgave you doesn't mean I'm just going to act like the reason to forgive you just never happened."

"Bella it was a mistake, one I promise never to make again." Edward began to glare.

"You're the one who always says that I lack self-preservation skills. Well maybe their just delayed. I have enough self-preservation to not blindly trust you anymore. I thought I explained it before, I can forgive but I cant forget."

Edward was frozen still, I was worried he looked so hurt. "Edward," I whispered rubbing his shoulder. "We have to be able to talk about this. We cant just shove it away." I continued to rub Edward's shoulders and buried my face into his neck. "If we forget then were doomed to repeat. I can't ever forget the pain, because even though it nearly killed us both doesn't mean it wasn't important. You have to realize that you shouldn't take responsibility for everything that happened. I'm in this relationship to, and you need to realize I'm a woman not a child. Okay?" I whispered, he has to realize that he isn't the only one who needs to be in control of our relationship.

Edward sighed, and looked up at me. I knew that sigh from before he left. It meant "please be reasonable Bella." I am being reasonable, he isn't going to control me.

"Bella, I know you're not a child. I don't want you to feel as if I think of you as one, I know you aren't. Yet I can't help the unrelenting need to make sure you are safe."

"I know Edward. But you have to realize Jacob's my best friend, and I'm not entirely sure he'll want to be friends with me when I'm with you. That's his choice to make, I've already made mine." I sighed, I hoped Jacob would except my offering of friendship. He brought me back to life, I don't want to throw that friendship away, he's like a brother. Yet all of this will be decided by him, I will reach him somehow and talk to him, he deserves a face to face conversation.

"Fine." Edward spat, "just please come to my home and see the others. They all miss you terribly." Edward whispered a way that before I would be weaked kneed. But this wasn't "before" this was now. I'm different now, I don't allow myself to weaken. To stay safe you must stay on top. If they wanted me to come and I wanted to come to I would. But I didn't, and I have a feeling they didn't either.

"No way, I remember last time."

"Please Bella, I promise Rosalie will be on her best behavior." Edward spoke like it would make everything go away. I didn't want that, I didn't want his family to act differently around me.

"Is that what you think I want?" I whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think that having Rosalie be on her 'best behavior' is going to fix anything? Do you think it'll just take away everything she said? Or the fact that everyone seemed to agree with her? No, I don't know if anything can fix it. I don't know why she hates me, but she does." I sighed, I was used to this. This is nature, hate without reason. "I don't want to go back there, and I wont."

"Please Bella, for me?"

"Why would you want me to go into a house full of people who don't like me? Why subject them or me to that?"

"Please Bella, please they all want you there. Your part of the family." Edward whispered, "Rosalie admires that you stood up to her, truly she does love."

"Fine," I wasn't giving in, I wanted to go and see how'd they act. The first sign of it going towards that incident again, I was hightailing it out of there.


	4. Changeing Words

I walked along the walls of Edward's house, it was so good to be back. To smile and talk to his family. Everything was perfect: Edward and I were rediscovering all are old routines that to be honest we never forgot, Jasper seemed to find being around me easier since he devoted himself more to restraint after my disastrous birthday, Emmett and Alice were their usual hyper selves, Esme and Carlisle treated me as much like a daughter as before if not more so, even Rosalie seemed to hate me less. I was still worried about the 'best behavior' thing, was she pretending to hate me less, or did she really not hate me as much since I stood up to her. wouldn't standing up to her make her even more mad at me then before? I don't really know, but time will tell time always tells the true nature of everything.

I think I should be stronger. After all I accepted Edward back under minimal problems. But I love Edward, and everyone deserves a second chance.

But I know deep in my soul that as good as this all was, how long would I have with them? I was already eighteen, how long could I pretend to be younger and Edward pretend to be older till we were too far apart. Most likely five years, six if I was lucky, three or four if I wasn't. That is pretty much a rough guessdeamnt in the purest form of the word.

To say that I didn't want to spend an eternity with this family would be a lie. I just don't trust them anymore. What would happen if I was changed and fifty years later Edward decided he didn't want me anymore? Even if not in fifty years, what about a hundred? A thousand? All those years with Edward would be bliss, but would it be worth it for infinity more years without him? I don't know, but he doesn't want me to turn anyway, so I wont. It's safer for everyone this way, and when the Volutori come, they can kill me if they wish, so long as none of the Cullens get hurt or tried. So I will spend the only good part of my life with Edward, because if I changed and he didn't want me after awhile…I wouldn't be able to go on, death would be so much better. Not only would I deal with having to live an eternity without him, something I could never do, I couldn't bear to make his family choose between us.

So I have no other choice, I will remain with Edward for a few more years. Then with a broken heart I will leave. I was so lost in my own thoughts all I heard was a wordless cry of pain. But I didn't need words, I knew it was Edward.

I rushed to his side leaning down I tried to sooth him best I could.

"Edward! What's wrong?" I called him wrapping my arms around him comfortingly.

"Bella, Alice saw…" But that was all Edward said before breaking down into dry sobs. I looked over at Alice being held by Jasper, he was looking at her scared out of his mind, I wonder if that's how I look right now with Edward helpless in my arms.

"Bella," Alice spoke looking solely at me, I think she might not of seen anything else. "Don't you even think about handing yourself over to the Volutori, you'll be like us soon enough. Then their will be no reason."

"What are you talking about?" I asked but then I realized, she must have seen the vision of me with what I was just thinking. And my face fell. Alice nodded glaring at me.

Edward wrapped me in his arms suddenly, he wouldn't let go. I looked at his face and was instantly scared. His face looked like he was burning from the inside, he looked even more haunted then when Jane had tortured him in Italy. Harming him with her thoughts alone. He was staring intently into my eyes, his topaz eyes paralyzing me.

"Bella," his voice was broken, I instantly tried to find a way to comfort him. The only thing I could think was to run my hand threw his bronze locks. "Don't ever think that, don't plan to leave me. I cant live without you Bella." Edward pulled me to his lap and wrapped his body around me.

"Edward I'm not going anywhere."

"She saw you Bella, she saw you decide to leave after just a few years. I cant go on without you." Edward started to dry sob into my neck, I held him threw it.

"Shh, it's all okay Edward. It's all alright." I whispered, he shook his head. "Edward, it's the only choice I have left. I love you, but I wont slowly grow old while you remain seventeen forever, eventually I'll have to leave." I whispered.

"The Volutori Bella, they'll kill you if you stay human. The only option we have left is to change you." Edward whispered looking at me lovingly.

"What? No!" I shook my head, no, no, no, no, no, no! I will not change and run the risk of Edward leaving again.

"Why not Bella? Before you were practically begging me to change you." Edward asked looking severely confused.

"That was before, what am I supposed to do if you decide to leave again? Wander eternity without you? No way, not going to happen." I shook my head.

Edward looked almost sick, why would he though? I was sure he'd be happy I no longer wanted to be changed, ecstatic even. He didn't seem it, he pulled my face to his chest and buried his face in my hair. He started rocking gently back and forth as I massaged his scalp.

"You forgave me though, you _forgave_ me." He whispered desperately.

"Of course I did." I whispered peppering a small kiss on his neck.

"Then why won't you change. Don't you want to be with me forever?" Edward asked as I snuggled into him.

We are the only ones who are here now. No one exists outside our little bubble. Not my or his family, nor our classmates, or even the Volutori. It's just us.

"Of course I do, but it's best I don't. what will happen if you choose to leave again, I cant live an eternity without you. If you leave while I'm human at least I'll eventually die. Why aren't you happy about this anyway? You never wanted me to change in the first place." I whispered. Edward seemed to pale even more with horror struck eyes.

"Oh Bella!" He cried out in anguish. "I should be glad that you have finally have seen sense. But I'm too damn selfish to allow you to stay human. I need to be with you, and I will never leave. Don't answer for anyone or anything else, okay? Do you want to spend eternity with me? And are you still willing to become a vampire in order to do that?"

"You never wanted me to be a vampire in the first place. Why have you suddenly changed your mind?"

"Oh Bella, I've always wanted to be able to keep you forever. Before I left I was certain I could protect you, but now I'm willing to take anything your willing to give." Edward whispered all of this so passionately as he rubbed my back.

"Must we always be on opposite sides of a boulder?" I asked indefectibly, "were back together, but now we have switched sides." I sighed, why must this always be so hard. Before Edward had left I never wished he was human, he was Edward I didn't care if he was human, vampire, werewolf, or even if he would be a fairy. Yet now I am beginning to wish he was, not because I am scared, but because it'd be so much easier if we were at least the same species.

If we were the same species then it would be one less thing to worry about. Then I could focuses on stuff that girls my age should focus on. Like how he's perfect, or how one day he'll realize I'm not nearly good enough for him and leave.

Edward brought me out of my musing when he held me close to him. Sobbing into my shoulder he whispered again and again how much he loved me and how he would never leave again. I want to believe him, but somewhere my mind refuses.

"I love you, isn't that enough?" I whisper.

"I love you too Bella, I'll earn your trust back no matter what." Edward vowed.

It's a strange thing, the only thing I've ever wanted now was presented to me. Only it was too late, maybe if I give myself time I will trust Edward again. Maybe this time we can work it out.

"Maybe one day you will." I whispered before snuggling into his side.

There was so much pain I have suffered, I don't know what Edward could possibly do to erase it. Yet right now, it's enough to simply have him hold me


	5. Jacob and the kiss

**Okay pepole, I'm trying somthing new here. As some of you may have noticed I'm working on three storeis as of now, this one, Another Creature, and Gothlight. I have tooken awhile to write this chapter but I'm pretty sure it's the longest chapter I've written so far. I promised I'd work on a chapter for Gothlight next and a long one for Another Creature. So I have a propersition for all of you. **

**Should I take awhile and post long chapters of stories, or should I post short chapters every few days or less? I'm not quiet sure of what any of you perfer and I'd like to do my best to accomidate you guys. I know thiers probaly hundreds of way better and more often updated stories then mine and it means alot that you take your time to read mine and comment. The only reason I want reviews is it's the only way I know what you guys like and don't like. Sorry to say I'm not Sookie or Edward, I can't read your guys minds so I need you to tell me.**

**Wow, that was a really long authors note, so yeah...Happy readigng! X)**

After I woke up I saw Edward had his arms around me looking into my eyes intently. My normal slow steps tword the waking world happened almost instantly and I remembered everything that had happened.

Edward had found out I no longer wanted to be like him and his reaction wasn't at all like I thought it would be. Instead of being happy that after all this time I had agreed with him he wanted to turn me now. I had held him and reassured him as best I could but he was so devastated.

When we finally got him to my house he pleaded for me to allow him to stay, as if I ever wouldn't want him. I had explained that to him as best as I could and he had finally relanted holding me closer to him then he ever allowed.

He had kissed me all through the night and had held me even closer if it was possible.

I relaxed into Edward's embrace, but I knew I couldn't stay here for too long. So much would be happing, tomorrow was Monday, not the normal Monday it'd be the first day that the Cullens would be back. I'm almost positive that people would get a kick out of that. Something even more important was that I had to call Jacob, if he didn't want to be my friend that's his choice but I want to atleast here it from him.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked tighting his grip slightly like a scared little boy, it gave me a secret thrill that he was showing vulnerability with me.

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just going to call Jake."

"Why?" He almost pouted but he seemed a little possesive with it.

"Because he's my friend Edward, he might not want to be my friend but if so he can tell me." Edward still looked pensive so I began to talk to him again. "Edward, this is who I am. Clumsiness, flannal shirts, pickup trucks, and werewolf friends are just part of the deal. I cant change who I am Edward, I've tried." Edward rubbed my back soothingly but stoped suddenly.

"What do you mean you've tried?" He almost looked angry, probably of the fact of me trying to change myself.

"When you left." I spoke those words so fast if he wasn't a vampire he wouldn't of been able to hear me and then begant he rest of my explanation slower and calmer. "I figured you left because you didn't want me, I mean it was normal to think that, you had even said those words yourself." Those words, those words that had broken me. "Afterwords for a long time I was….broken. I don't know how else to explain it. After awhile I relized I couldn't stay that way, for Charlie's sake. So I tried to unbreak my heart, it didn't work in the slightest no matter how hard I tried. Then I figured I'd do the next best thing, pretend that I was alright."

"How-how'd it go?" Edward asked probably not really wanting to know the answer.

"You always said I was a horrible actress. I hadn't fooled anyone for a minute." I sighed, I was willing to go threw the pain, but I never wanted Charlie to go threw it. "I could of handled it Edward, the pain was all worth it. I would live a thousand life times of that pain just to have known you, but it cut me deeply when Charlie had to suffer with me."

Edward quickly wrapped me in his arms, I relax before pushing myself up again. This time he lets me opting to follow me around while I go downstairs to the phone.

I can see that he dosnt like this, me calling his mortal enemy. Yet this is my life, my choice. And now it's Jacob's choice.

When I punched in the number Billy answered, his happy tone took a one hundred and eighty turn when he relized I was calling.

"Jacob's not home right now, you know, out with _real_ friends." I didn't even allow him to bother me about the real friends comment.

"Listen Billy," I heard Billy gasp in surprise and almost smiled at the fact that Edward gasped at the same moment. Neither had ever heard or seen me talk to someone like this. "I know that Jake's proably ticked off at me for leaving and keeping Edward from dieing. But when he gets home-and don't think I don't know that ten to one he's in the room with you-that he can choose to be my friend or not to. It's his choice, I just want a flippen answer. Okay?" I know I shouldn't talk like that, especially to an old man in a wheel chair who was my best friend's father and my father's best friend but the whole entire pack had gotton on my nerves. The whole time Edward was away they'd all bring him up. Okay, maybe not all only Sam and Emily. Jacob had to but I like to think that it wasn't on purpose, any time they did Leah would throw a piting look at me, she understood.

"Oh, okay Bella." Billy said, he was probably at a lost for words.

"Yeah, bye Billy…bye JAKE." I said a little louder just to drive the point that they wernt fooling anyone home. As I started to pull the phone from my ear I heard Jacob yell my name. "Why hello Jacob, so nice of you to join us." I said sarcastically rolling my eyes.

"Bella, can we talk? I don't want to give up years of friendship because of those bloodsuckers." Jacob spoke and I felt Edward go rigid beside me, I put my hand against his shoulder and tried to rub the tense mucels into relaxation.

"Here's the thing Jacob, I'm not going to stand around while you call them datratory names. That means: bloodsucker, leech, and parasite. I'm not going to stand for them calling you names either. I wont let them call you mutt, pup, or dog. Okay?"

"Okay Bella, we can talk tomorrow usual time usual place. Kay?"

"Sure, bye Jake."

"See you around Bells."

With that we hung up, I was happy that we had a chance to reconile our frinedship. Edward looked pensive about it but let it go, he was finally starting to accept my freedom.

Edward really wanted me to go back to his house but I insisted that I just wanted to stay here, so instead we opted to watch a bunch of romantic movies. It was only nine and I had the whole day to kill, I wouldn't be going to hang out with Jacob till after school tomorrow and I was off work today so we watched several movies. We only paused them for when I had to go to bathroom or fix something to eat for lunch wich I sat in front of the screen nestled into Edward's lap eating a turcky sandwich.

We watched several movies. Grease, Pretty Woman, The Wedding Cake, Two Weeks Notice, Dave. Afterwords I was slowly falling asleep against Edward in a way that can only happen when you are completely content.

I woke to my alarm, and I relized that the cool spot beside me was too warm, it wasn't it usual almost icy cold from Edward, he wasn't here. I started to panic, this was the first moment I was away from Edward without knowing where he was.

Sure, I had to leave to go to the bathroom and do my humanly duties, he had to leave to change his clothes but I had always woken up with him beside me. _Get a grip Bella!_

We have only been back from Italy for three days and already I was putting too much on our relatshionship. I have to have friends outside of Edward Cullen, I know by friends I meant Leah Clearwater, Jacob Black, Angela Weber, and Ben Chaney.

I put on a pair of comfortable denim and a blue long sleeve top, I completed this with a quick brush threw my hair and sneakers. As I put my book bag on my bed I saw that I had a note on my nightstand.

_My lovely Bella,_

_I am sorry I wont be there to kiss you good morning but I don't think your father would appreciate me being wrapped around his daughter in his own house._

_I had to go hunting anyway but I am staing close. This way I wont have to leave you during the weekend, it had been far too long since I last hunted. I know that I will never be able to hurt you but still I need to be sure. I do not mean to babble but I wish to leave you with as much as me as possible, even though I will be back in a matter of hours most of wich you will still be asleep for. I will be back in time to drive you to school, if you wish._

_I love you more than anything, you were are and always will be my life._

_With all that I am,_

_Edward._

I read his note about five times picking apart everything.

Charlie, right. I have to tell Charlie that Edward and I are back toghther, he will of heard about the Cullens being back before I talk to him though so atleast half the job will be done for me.

It's good that he hunted, I didn't want him to be in any form of pain. I would love for him to drive me to school, I would never deny him anything, though I know getting into this is wrong he left me once he could do it again.

I put the note in my pocket and headed down staris eating a quick poptart I headed outside and their was Edward, leaning on his Volvo. He smiled lovingly at me but didn't take a step tword me, giving me a choice if I wanted to ride with him or on my own.

I know why, he's not entirely sure if I want others to know about our love. Sure before we would both shout it from the roof tops, but now things are different. I have two distinct options. I can drive myself and he will leave me alone he won't do anything to imply we are toghther till

I don't even bother with thinking about it, I don't exactly trust Edward yet but I'm getting close. It's hard not to when he's willing to be with me the way I need him to. This time is different from last time, he's working harder to tell me things and he's trying his best to talk to me and not shut me out. When he saw me beginning to walk across the street he rushed over to me and picked me up carring me to the car.

"Okay, just this once." I sigh, he has been holding me a lot closer recently, kissing me with more passion, touching me more. I liked it, a lot, and he seemed to also.

It was early still so no one was out on the street, their where no kids on my block and all the adults have already left about ten minutes ago. Edward sat on the passenger seat with me on his lap, this wasn't how it usully was, now I was straddling him instead of sitting side saddled.

"Edward?"

"Shh Bella, can I hold you till we need to drive? You know I can drive fast enough that there is no danger in us being late." I laughed at his statement and nodded, I don't mind some alone time, especially since school will probably be hell. I can see it now; the stares, the whispering, the questioning looks. Not at all something I'm looking forword to.

I was brought from those thoughts by Edward. He reached up to capture my lips with his own, my hands went to his chin trying to hold his face in place and his hands went to my shoulders holding me back. When he moves back I hear him give off a groan and it only makes me breath harder.

"Bella," he whispers to me kissing me again gently. "I wish I was human, then I could kiss you how I want to." I was about to protest but he shushed me. "I know that you love me no matter what and I'm glad it's just hard to pull away from you sometimes."

"Sorry," I don't know why I'm saying sorry, yet another thing I have to work on doing.

"Don't apoligize, I'm not sorry for it." Edward whispered kissing my forehead. He sighed looking outside of the window. "We have to get to school I suppose, the sooner that they see I am back and not leaving again the sooner they'll back off."

"Hopefully," I smile I know we will most likely have no such luck but it is so good to be with him that I don't have the heart to contridect him, he'll find out on his own soon enough. He drove us to the high school in record time and quickly got out of the car and rushed to my side to open the door for me.

How shall I explain what happened as soon as I got out of the car? Exactly what I was expecting, that's what happened. Edward wrapped his arm around me and began walking so fast that I barly kept up. But people still saw us and everyone stared.

And when I say everyone I mean _everyone_: students, teachers, and the few passbyers who happen to past the school parking lot.

I kept my head held high and my feet moving. I knew the main people who would get a kick out of this was Lauren and her drones. Are morning classes were a bunch of staring and whispering, even the teachers. This would be to the whole town before lunch, speaking of wich I'm worried about Charlie.

Charlie had gone threw so much with me and now I'd have to tell him that I was back with the person who broke me. I hate that I'll do this but what can I honestly do? I love my father but this is my choice, all I can do is try to explain to him that I know what I'm doing.

Atleast I hope I do.

We walked down the halls of the school with Edward seemingly on perminate edge. I can't even began to imagen the things he was seeing and hearing in our classmates heads.

"Just ignore them." I whispered so low I didn't even here, he did though.

"Easier said then done sweetheart." Edward whispered just loud enough for me to hear. "They are all getting on my nerves, all their thoughts are direacted at us. And none of their thoughts are nice."

"You knew what you were getting into Edward, what they think doesn't matter. All that matters is you and I." those words seemed to calm him down and he made no more protest but he was glued to me. I really didn't mind though. That's really how we passed the morning classes.

Not to say it was that simple, it was far from that. In first period everyone simply stared at us, forty five minutes of staring from everyone including the teacher. After that everyone seemed to grasp that this wasn't a dream and the rumors started.

"_-just took him back."_

"_I heard that he bribed her with-"_

"_-was so depressed without him."_

Several comments made throughout the moring classes. Needless to say I didn't feel my best, I wish we never had to go to school.

While we walked to lunch Edward pulled me unexpectingly into an little aclove behind the hall. I hadn't even known it was here and I suspect no one else did, it was extremely cramped and dark. I was pushed up with Edward and it wasn't exactly comftorble, when I tried to shift into a cozerier position he lifted me up so I was pushed up against the wall and he waist was between my legs. At this positon my face was only slightly higher then his and I could easly see him.

"I'm sorry I just needed a moment alone with you." He groaned his lips only a inch from mine.

"Uh-huh." I mumbled lost in his eyes, his eyes held such a naked need. Yet their was something else, something locked away deep inside. "Edward, what's wrong?"

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with sweetheart."

"Edward, you can tell me anything."

"I know, but I don't want to worry you needlessly. Our classmates are just behaving like the immature children they are." He shrugged.

"That's what has you so worried?" I spoke skeptically. "We knew they'd react like this anyway." I explained when he raised an eyebrow.

"You were _anticipating _this?"

"Edward, they saw me numb and broken almost every day for over half a year. Of course their going to talk."

Edward looked pained but pulled me to him and kissed me sweetly. It was chaste but he opened his mouth and I opened mine. Our tonges did not battle, or dance or even greet each other, we simply tasted each other's breath. For now this is all I could do with him, I wasn't ready for any more.

Needless to say our afternoon classes went pretty much the same, everyone whispered. I suppose us being hidden away while everyone was looking for us at lunch wasn't exactly helpful in this situation.

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist as we left the last period of the day. I stretched gently from sitting still for forty five minutes. Edward grined and rubbed my shoulders. His hand slowly moved from my shoulder to my neck massaging there also before delicately moving his hand up to my chin across my cheeck and onto my forhead. Then he moved downward to my oppiset cheeck then up to my lips. I would of probably fallen if it wasn't for the fact that he kept me steady.

"So beautiful," he whispered so low I wasn't entirely sure I was meant to hear it or not. We were obviously getting stares from our class but we ignored it. Who cared what they thought? The only persons business this was is mine and Edward's.

After the kiss, that honestly we both despretly needed, he slowly moved his mouth down to capture my lips in another kiss. I held as still as could be, the kiss was chaste and sweet. Keeping his arm around me we slowly made are way twords his car.

He opened the door for me and was in the drivers seat almost too fast to pass for human. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"What? Is it so unusual for someone to want to see the love of their existence?" Edward kidded me. I smirked I loved any time he used the word love, wich was very often.

"Yeah, but I don't think our classmates would understand just how fast you are." I smiled, teasing him a little bit.

"Don't worry about it Love, they only were thinking I should be on the track team." I knew their thoughts were probably far from his speed anyway. He probably knew that I knew from my face. Yet he just smiled before gently leaning into me to peck my lips once, twice, a third time. And then he kissed me deeper, my arms immeditly went into around his neck and twisted into his hair. His arms went around my waist, we only kissed for a few moments before Edward pulled my face away. Only far away enough for him to put his forhead to mine. We were both breathing heavy and I was probably blushing crimson.

Unfortently we had to let each other go and Edward began to drive to my house all the while he had his hand on my knee and was drawling radom patterns. As I relaxed as Edward drove my cell phone fell out of my pocet hitting the floor between the door and the seat.

"Abusing your phone, Bella? For shame." Edward laughed and I defiantly put the phone on his holding pad underneath his CD holder. He chuckled at me as I pretended glared then pouted into submission.

"Ugh, that pout is so beautiful." Edward groaned.

I of coruse blushed tomatoe red at this. Edward chuckled and helped me out of the car, again I hadn't even relized us making it to my house.

I followed Edward to the house, he had somehow managed to get a hold of our book bags.

He then sighed, I know he didn't like the idea of me going to Jacob's to hang out but he had allowed it. I still kind of felt guilty for the ultimatiume I had given him. Unfortently Edward hadn't given me much choice in the matter. I didn't need his permission to do anything and he knew it, I was trying to include him in all aspects of my life. Still hoping if he saw me doing it it'd be easier for him.

After awhile I left to head to Jacob's. I quickly kissed Edward goodbye before leaving.

I wish that we could hang out toghther, I'm sure that if Jacob and Edward would forget about their stupid naturel enimes crap that they'd be the best of friends. One step at a time, I must remember that, one step at a time.

I eventully left promising I'd be careful. When I got to Jacob's house he ran out and greeted me, it was like we used to be. Two friends, nothing more nothing less.

We decided on going to the beach and walked along the shore. Jacob seemed nervous, I didn't want him uncomftorbal so I talked to him.

"Jake, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong Bells, somthings just different, but we can fix it." It seemed like he wanted to say more but was choking on the words.

I don't have any idea of what is going on, but still I try to help. Jacob fixed me and I'm willing to do anything he needs to fix it.

"What are you saying Jake?" He wasn't making any sense though, it was like when was trying to tell me he was a werewolf. Like he was choking on something, I don't know what he could have been ordered not to say pertaining to this. Don't tell the vampire girl you're a werewolf is a lot different then talking about Edward…Kind of.

It doesn't matter, I will do anything he needs. He's my best friend, my brother.

"What I'm saying is that I love you, Bella!" Jacob exclaimed. Except that. I know that he doesn't mean the sibling love, he means the other kind, the kind that is reserved for Edward. I thought Jacob had given that up when I had rushed to italy to save Edward, apparently I was wrong.

No, oh no, oh please no. How could I have been so blind? I should of known that Jacob would do this. Oh, I shouldn't of ever grown close to him, I should of broken our freindship off.

This is all my fault, I should of seen this. I never wanted to hurt him, that was the exact oppiset of what I wanted to do. I don't think there is much choice now though, what else can I really do.

"I think I should go." I more whispered then spoke it again with more conviction. If I leave now I can stop Jacob form hurting too much. If only I could take away his pain and make it my own.

"I know Bella, just know that I'm here for you, and I'll never leave unlike that _leech_."

No, I can't be his friend anymore that was what started this, he has to know that I'm not ever going to love him any more then a brother. I have to tell him, I hate that I have to do this, but I have to. I hope that it will not break him, I hope he will simply see and not hurt. That he'll move on to someone, someone who can love him the way he wants.

"No Jacob, I can't be your friend anymore." Jacob looked surprised then the hurt set in. I hate that I was doing this to him but I have no choice. So much for the whole not hurt at all and move on with the snap of the fingers. I know, a fool's hope but I hoped for it anyway.

"I'm so sorry Jacob, I never ment for this to turn out this way. When my feelings for you started to grow they grew twords feeling like you were a brother. I wrongly assumed when you said you cared for me that you ment like a sister. We can't be friends any longer. Goodbye Jacob, forever. I'm sorry, if I knew things would go like this I'd never of burdened you with me. Know I'll always think of you as my brother." I was crying as I started to turn away. How could it have come to this? How could I have been so _blind_? If I'd been stronger I would of seen what was happing, then I could of fixed it. But I'm not strong, I'm weak hoplessly so.

While I was turning a warm hand graved my arm and spun me around. Before I could wonder what was going on Jacob was kissing me. I reacted as anyone would in that situation, I fought like hell.

Unfortently Jacob was much stronger then me. I would think that Jacob was over a hundred degrees I felt cold. My mind could not handle this so it was shutting itself down. Still I fought and eventully he had to back off to get some air. Then I screamed.

"**HELP!"** Jacob was so startled that he let go and I _ran_. I didn't even know it was possible for me to run that fast. I may have even been faster then Edward at that moment, I know that's a dramitization but it felt true. By the time I got to my truck I was gasping, I must have been going the half the way on adranilen alone. I barly made it to my house were I called Edward. Actually I called my cell phone figuring it must be in Edward's car. He answered on the first ring.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"I'm sorry you left your phone in my car when I dropped you off at your house.""Yeah, Edward could you come and pick me up please?"

"Of course, what's the matter?" Edward asked sounding wary and a little scared. He knew my voice so well it's almost the same as if we were having a face to face discussion. I would usully listen to his voice and speake slowly to hear his breathing more. Now I was insistent, and probably souned as scared as I was.

"Could I talk to you when you get here?" I didn't want to tell him over the phone, my emotions were going crazy and I didn't want to breakdown.

"Sure Love, I'm on my way." Edward sounded very worried now. If there was any chance that I was okay, he now knew their wasn't. He almost sounded as anxious as me. I hanged up and started pacing the halway by the door, figuring exactly what I'd do if Jacob got here before Edward. Their would be a chance that Jacob would apoligize and leave me alone, but not much of one.

If he comes in here I will run up the stairs and grave Charlie's old bat from his high school days before he got renee pregnant with me. Actually scratch that, Bella running up the stairs was defiantly a bad idea.

Okay into the kitchen and out the back door, if he makes a grave put my lungs to good work and scream. If he gets ahold of me before I make it to the door, kick and scream. Trying to grave a butcher knife wouldn't be a bad idea either, it's not like I'd have the heart to stab him, but still it'd be a good idea to look more intimating.

I hate that my whole entire body is screaming "stay safe until Edward's here". I shouldn't put my whole existence on him, but I know that atleast for now I have to, these are extrem conditions. And I wont admit it to myself yet but I'm starting to trust him again. Slowly and tediously but still it's happing.

However my planing wasn't nessciary, he was at my house in record time. He didn't bother knocking, I don't think he would bother with anything even driving I hadn't heard his car. And I would have heard it, I was listing specilly for that. He immeditly wrapped his arms around me, protecting me.

"What happened?" He sounded close to going beserk, he was extremely desprate. I don't really know what to do. How do you tell your vampire boyfriend that your werewolf bestfreind basically sexually assaulted you? I opted to just go with whatever comes to mind.

"You know how I went to hang with Jacob today?" I asked, he nodded. "Well while we were talking he said that he loved me…not like a sibling like how I love him but…" I trailed off Edward hold was slightly tighter and I could see the tendions poking out. I hurried to finish.

"And well, I told him we couldn't be friends. But I think that was the wrong thing to say. He got angry and he…he…" I was close to crying I was scared, someone I was willing to trust with my life had betrayed me. And I had just convince Edward that he wasn't dangerous, Edward was right Jacob is dangerous. Not because he's a werewolf, because he's Jacob.

"Bella. What. Did. He. _Do?_" Edward spoke forcing control into his voice.

"He kissed me." I whispered pathetically. Edward growled, long and low I buried my face deeper into his chest. "I'm sorry." I whispered. This seemed to surpise him because his growl cut off.

"Bella…why are you sorry?" Edward spoke seeming a bit wary.

"I tried to stop him, I swear I did, but I wasn't strong enough." I sobbed into his chest, he seemed to understand.

"Shh Bella, don't apoligize." He pulled me at arms length to look into my eyes. "Bella, please listen to me. None of this is your fault. He used your kind nature to take advantage of you. The only thing your guilty of is being too caring." He whispered hugging me gently again.

I allowed the tears to fall from my eyes. It hurt so badly, but I had Edward here. The love of my existence, I could get threw anything else.


	6. Explanations

After the whole Jacob issue I decided to just get ready for bed and relax. I cant stand to pretended everything's okay for Charlie. Especially since by the time Charlie got home Jacob would of gotten to him and Charlie would start saying things. I could hear him now.

"_Bella the Blacks are practically family."_

"_Jacob's been a very good friend to you Bella."_

And all that, and I'm kind of scared that Charlie probably wouldn't see Jacob kissing me as bad as I did. Charlie has been wanting me and Jacob to make him and Billy in-laws since we were kids.

I don't usually do that but I really needed a break, and Charlie had about a weeks worth of fish already cooked for him. I went into the shower and quickly scrubbed down with my new lavender shampoo, I was kind of sad that my favorite strawberry shampoo was sold out at the store but it was nice to have a change, along with a new soap I decided to try out.

I had gone online and found this promising website Angela Weber had told me was a really good and reliable place to buy soap. They specially made it with any scent or combination of scents. I had ordered a freesia one and I was wondering how Edward would react to it. On one hand he said I smelled like freesias so I thought he might like it but their was the chance that Edward would feel the smell overpowering. And why am I worrying like this about what Edward would or wouldn't like? I had promised myself that I wouldn't fall back into the same way I was before but it wasn't easy.

I usually would hurry to head back to Edward but I really needed the comforting feeling of hot water right now. Once I finished washing I brushed my teeth and changed into a pair of powder blue pajama pants and an oversized white shirt. I walked out of the bathroom combing my hair and headed into my room and spotted Edward longing on my bed. He smiled at me and used his index finger to beckon me closer.

I stumbled over and quickly crawled next to his and he wrapped one of his arms around me.

"Bella, are you using new soap?" He asked, I knew he had a strong sense of smell but I didn't know it was that strong that he could detect a different soap so fast. I'm not entirely sure how I like that, if he could smell a different soap what else could he smell? Do I have to worry if I'm too tired to take a shower one night and decide to do it in the morning? Or if I fall into something and need a shower? That is not something I'm looking forward to.

"Yes, why? Don't you like it?" I teased, if he doesn't like the soap I'm not sure what my response will be. My stubborn side was saying that if he doesn't like it then that's too bad, I really do like the soap it smells nice to me and it makes my skin feel smooth which I like. Then another part of me wants to make it easier to be with him, he is fighting his nature by being with me, it won't kill me to only use the freesia soap every now and then and use another kind most of the time.

"Oh I do love, it enhances your already beautiful natural scent. You always smell nice but this is like an close-to-exact copy of your natural scent. You have no idea how nice it is, before your soaps smelt so…chemical, this is more natural. What in the world is it?" He asked taking my hands and inhaling deeply.

"It's this soap I ordered off the internet." I answered and continued to explain when he raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me. "Usually I don't do that, but Angela told me about the site and that you get to choose whatever you wanted for them to make so I figured I'd give it a try. I really like it."

"I do to love." Edward sighed kissing my lips which were mint fresh. "Are you deliberately trying to tempt me my little lamb?"

"No, why?"

"You wear a new soap that is tempting enough along with your hair that smells like lavender. I love when your hair smells like strawberries but I like this to. And your wearing the most lovely powder blue, you look exquisite." He breathed.

I tried to see what he saw, I tried to see the beautiful girl who smelt incredible and was his every dream. I didn't see it, I'm just plain old Bella. Curly brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin and nothing more, plain Jane to the tee. When I was a freshman their was this guy who was pretty much a player, he looked around one of my classes and found something good about each plain Jane in the class which was really nice to him. Their was about twenty girls in my class and ten boys, their was one knock out and then nineteen plain girls including me. He found something good about each. This one had perfect lips, this one had manicured nails, this one had the most deep red hair, this ones legs were phenomenal. I ignored it and he got through all the girls except me and some guy said. "Hey how about that Swan chick?" He looked at me and his eyes widen in surprise as he realized he hadn't even seen me. He studied me for ten minutes while I pretended to ignore him. "She has a sparkling personality" he finally said and everyone laughed.

I guess I cant see what Edward sees in me, but I cant allow myself to dwell on that, it would surly drive me crazy.

"Now I'd like to talk to you about something." Edward said bringing me out of my somber quiet musing as he stroked my hair.

"Shoot."

"It's about this ridicules plan of yours." Edward explained. "I want you forever, you want to be with me forever. See? It's simple." Edward smiled, how many times had I used that same argument? More times then I could count, it seemed wired and out of place for Edward to use it.

"It's not ridicules Edward. It's how I feel, I don't want to take the chance Edward." I sighed, I would have to explain this to him. "I don't think you ever realized how much a blatant show of trust I always did whenever the subject would come up. I trusted you would never hurt me." I grappled with an explanation, it wasn't easy. For a moment I wonder if this is how Edward felt when he was trying to explain his lust for my blood.

"It's like this, if you would of told me before you left to, say, walk into a mind field I would. I would trust that you wouldn't ever let anything happen to me, so much so that I let you become my eyes to a certain degree." Edward looked shocked at the idea of me anywhere near a mind field, I wasn't explaining this right but I think I was getting somewhere with the eyes comment. So I went with that, trying to explain to him what I think and feel. "I would happily walk around blindfolded and allow you to tell me what was where an how everything looked. And when you left it's like you ripped the blindfold away. And I was exposed to everything, and it wasn't a good thing. It hurt Edward, it hurt a lot." I stuttered a little as my eyes welled up with tears.

"And now that your back, it's almost like your saying you want to put the blindfold back on. It's not like I don't want the blindfold back on, I do want the…the lights to go away. Their too bright, much too bright for comfort, but I'm now scared out of my mind of what will happen if I put it on. All I can think of is 'What if he rips it off again, only this time in an even worse place?' I don't know if I can recover from that Edward." We are getting extremely close to the root of the problem, this will be the first step in healing. If it doesn't destroy us first.

"Edward, we have to consider the possibility that I wont ever be able to recover from this.

""You think it's possible that you lack the ability to recover?" Edward's voice was a bit incredulous.

"I don't just think it's possible, I think it's probable."

Edward put his head down in defeat at that, we had skated around the topic since that first night from Italy. And now it's out their for us both to see, feel, and fear.

Their's a chance that we can't be together.

"NO!" Edward suddenly screeches, it surprises me so much that I jump in his arms which only causes him to hold me tighter. "I wont accept that, we belong together." Edward growls possessively in his chest pulling me into his lap again. "Your _mine_. I love you, I can't allow you to leave. Everyone said it wasn't safe for you and I finally listened, but looked what that did to us." Edward growled graving my face almost roughly before continuing on. "I'm never going to leave again, I don't think I could even if you wanted me to. I am yours, Bella. And you are _mine_." Edward finished sealing his vow with a kiss.

It wasn't anything like our usual kisses, this one was needy and rough but it was underlined with passion and love. I gasp when I feel his tongue sweep over my lips before pushing through and gliding along my teeth. I gasped and he took the chance to put his tongue on mine and he gently massaged it and I couldn't help but moan into his mouth.

He graved my hips and moved me on him a few times and I took the hint and began to move over him. I was rewarded with a groan and that caused me to moan again.

"_Mine._ Say it Bella! Say your _mine_!" He demands and I know that I should tell him no, I'm my own person. But it doesn't feel like that's what he means, it's like he wants me to say he's the only one for me. Why should I deny us both happiness? I love him and he loves me, he wouldn't do that again.

"_Yours_!" I scream, "only _yours_! And your _mine_." I pant heavily.

"Yes! Bella yes! I'm _yours_! All _yours_ my love!" He screamed before he started to thrust up to meet my hips, it feels so good. I graved his shoulders and push him down till he's laying in the bed and I'm on top of him. We kiss each other open mouthed before I gently pulled away and laid beside him panting, he was doing the same.

"I love you Bella, never doubt that." He said in-between gulps of unneeded air. I nodded and kissed the tip of his nose, I liked it like this, how we could go from a bought of passion to sweet cuddling.

He had the smallest smile on his face and I stroked his cheek as I looked at him and he stared into my eyes gently. He wet his lips and then said something I never thought I would hear him say.

"Marry me Bella." He whispered.

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**Yeah, this was my first try at a sip of seriouse lemonade, so what did you think? Did it make my story better? Worse? Should I never write a lemon-ish scence again? Thier you have it though with the proposal, so how should Bella react? Should she jump in his arms and accept or be pensive? I hope that you guys enjoyed this, it didn't want to be written for some odd reason. **


	7. Talk of Marriage

**Okay everyone, the moment you all have been waiting for. Bella's answer to Edward's wedding proposal! I worked really hard on this chapter and I hope you all like it. I just want to quickly say that the song Edward sings to Bella isn't of my creation. It's Lullaby by the Mitch Hansen band. Remember to check my profile every now and then to see what's up, it just might have a few things for you... ;)**

**I'd like to dedicat this chapter to a few pepole who reviews really make my breath catch in my throat: Sheeiur22 who has been here since the begining, you have no idea what it meant to me when you said that you loved this story. misslaurielou88 for the sweet reviews, thank you they are so nice it is response like that why I put these storys up. ba2006 who supports almost all of my storys. And last but not least Biddy429, your reviews give me both a laugh and things to think of and fix.**

**I appreciate everyone who has ever reviewed any story of mine. The pepole I have mentioned just really struck me with thier support. I love you all and your reviews humble me. I never thought anyone would take the time to write a review, you all have no idea how much it means to me.**

**Alright I'll stop babbling now. Happy reading! XD**

* * *

Edward stared at me, waiting for my answer. But I couldn't give it to him, I could barley breath. He strokes my cheeks smiling lovingly but slowly growing nervous when I don't answer after awhile.

The thing is I don't know how to answer, it's like my whole being is at war or something. I want to say yes _desperately _I want to cry and give him a watery smile and tell him yes. But another part of me is remembering growing up, marriage doesn't always consummate forever. And this part of me knows that if I convince myself forever with Edward means getting married and he leaves me again I don't know what will happen. So many times before he left I would imagine being married to him, of course I never allowed myself to acknowledge those fantasies to anyone including myself.

So what in the world do I do? My heart picks up as I go threw all the possibilities I can think of for this one answer.

If I say yes we could get married and live a happy eternity together. And if it doesn't go according to plan…do I even want to think about that?

If I say no he would wait for me to be ready, that's what he always said before that he'd wait as long as I need. But their's always the possibility he won't wait. I'm nothing compared to him, I'm plain and ordinary, he's majestic and magical. He could have anyone he wants, why would he want run-of-the-mill me?

What in the world am I going to do? I don't want either of those to be the answer, because I don't know which is the right answer for us. Then it hits me, the only way left.

"I'm not saying 'no', but I don't think I'm ready to say 'yes' Edward." I whispered he looked deflated but answered in a loving tone.

"Take all the time you need, sweetheart, I'll wait as long as you need. I love you." He stroked my cheek smiling as he heard my aggregated heart beating. I snuggle into his arms and close my eyes. Soon I was fast asleep.

"_Bella, were leaving." _**What's going on? Where am I? Edward? **

"_I'll go with you." _**Is that my voice? What am I saying?**

"_I don't want you to go."_ **No! No not again**.

**I can see now, but it's like I'm a specter. Edward is standing their looking perfect and looking at me with cold hard topaz eyes. I just look at him, this is torture of the worse kind. I try screaming "don't believe it!" I shout as loud as I can but no words come.**

"You don't….want…me?" She-or is it me?-say's trying the words out. They feel wrong; oh so wrong. **I can feel what I felt then along with what I feel right now, this is unbearable. **

"No." He said it without any hesitation. His golden eyes where cold solid topaz, so different from the warm liquid they were days before. **This is killing me, I can't even tell what thoughts I'm thinking now and which ones I was thinking then**

"Why?"

"I don't want you. I never did." **And just like that were transported to another place. I'm back in control of my body and were changed, Edward is in different clothes, and I am to. Simple jeans and a plain shirt but he looks like a Greek god as always. We weren't in the forest anymore, now we were in our meadow, but he was looking at me with those solid golden eyes.**

"But you said…back in September…you said all that was a lie." I argued, I couldn't let him leave again. Some part of me, distant yet still there, is saying that this all is a dream and to wake up that Edward will be there looking at me lovingly as soon as I awaken. But that part was small and almost impossible to hear, and dream or not I can't let him leave again.

"No, you stupid little human, _that_ was the lie. How dumb can you be? I could have anyone I want, why would I waste that on you?" He laughed cruelly, was this the real Edward? All those times he said he loved me were a lie, what was happening. It's just like moments ago when I was a specter but now I can see through my eyes again but I have no control over my body. All this time I thought those nightmares were bad, these are even worse, I have no idea what's going on. I turned and ran from him with tears blinding my vision all the while his laugh following me.

"How could you Edward?" I asked not even talking to him just speaking to myself to keep myself from losing whatever shred of sanity I may still have. "How could you do this?" I sobbed. I can say whatever I want it seems, but I can't make my body run back to the meadow. I have to turn I have to run back from Edward to stop him from leaving. I have to go back…

That's when I woke up in a cold sweat. Edward was shaking me slightly and I clung to him. Timidly I looked up at his eyes and saw that they were liquid onyx, I am safe from that horrible nightmare. Every time I have that nightmare Edward's eyes are always golden honey, it's gotten to the point I'm a bit afraid to see him with topaz eyes again because then it might mean he's going to leave. But I can't think of that now, Edward is trembling and when I look up at him again he seems so scared.

"What is it?" I ask my voice raspy with sleep.

"You were screaming love, I thought you were dreaming of being murdered. And just when I reached to wake you when you said it."

"Said what?" What had I unknowingly subjected him to? With the nightmare I had just had, so much worse then anyone before it, their were plenty of things for him to hear.

"You said 'How could you Edward?' and after a little while you said 'How could you do this?'. You sounded so heartbroken and hurt my little lamb." Edward sighed wiping away my tears that I didn't notice were scalding my cheeks until I felt his icy touch brush them away.

"What on earth did I do to you in your dream?" Edward asked kissing the remainders of my tears away.

"When you left…or it might have been you leaving again. I'm not entirely sure. It started with that day in the woods, but it kind of transformed into you saying that you were leaving a second time for good." I explained Edward stroked my hair before speaking.

"I want to tell you, my sweet, I am _yours_. I'm all _yours_." He whispers kissing me gently and I hold him tightly.

"I think I see what you meant by saying that you weren't ready for marriage. Ugh! When I even think of what I did to you I realize that I'm a lucky son of a bitch to even have you with me." Edward laughs humorlessly.

"I love you Edward, that'll never change." I promised him. "I'm _yours_ just like your _mine_." I say kissing his jaw.

"I could get used to hearing that." Edward mused kissing along my jaw. "It's only two in the morning love, you should go back to sleep." I had no idea that it was so late but I'm kind of scared to go back to sleep. When he was gone anytime I had a nightmare if I went back to sleep immediately afterwards I would have it again.

"I don't want to sleep, I might have nightmares again." I realize I sound like a six year old as I yawn but I don't bother getting embarrassed, I am tired. Nightmares drain my energy. Edward looks stricken for a second before he speaks.

"Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it'll keep the bad dreams away."

"What would you sing?" I ask curious, I had heard him hum many times before but never heard him sing.

"I could sing the lyrics to your lullaby." He says after a moment of thought. I had never even known my lullaby had lyrics.

"Really?"

"Yes." He smiles before kissing my forehead and he starts to sing.

"_Being made of stone will make you strong_

_But I've been alone for oh so long_

_Then there you were, a silent mind_

_With Beauty that I though Id never find_

_Something strange is happening_

_And I don't know what to do_

_I haven't felt my heartbeat in over 90 years_

_I love the way you look at me_

_When you're thinking no one else can see_

_I feel like someone different when you're near_

_So, sleep now and hold me tight_

_Everything will be alright_

_Just lay down and rest your weary eyes_

_Calm down, you're safe with me_

_I love you more than you can see_

_You need your rest and so I wrote you this_

_Lullaby_

_Could someone who has a soul_

_Have such a hard time staying in control_

_Eternity can wait a while_

_Ill miss the way you blush when you smile" _

I smiled drifting off to sleep, the last thing I heard was Edward whisper so low I almost didn't hear him. "I made the lyrics after the first time you said you loved me." And like that I was out like a light.

I didn't dream anymore that night and I woke up to having to go to school. I hate school, why couldn't they just blow the stupid building up or something? But they can't do that, I don't really want that, but theirs no harm in deviling in a fantasy of no school every now and then. Good for the soul, I chuckle to myself. Charlie has already left for work and I have the house to myself. I hurriedly get out my outfit for today and stuff all my things back into my bag before searching all over my room for something for Edward. I don't know if he'll like it but if his face gives away anything I'll tell him he won't need to wear it, only if he wants to.

I quickly get ready by changing into a pair of jeans and a navy blue short sleeve shirt. It's untypical warm weather but it's still cloudy, if you got someone from another state like Florida or Arizona they would say it's cold, only being sixty degrees but it's warm for Forks.

I munch on a pop tart before running upstairs to brush my teeth and re-comb my hair. Stupid frizzy hair. I grave my bag as I bound down the stairs I, of course, miss the last step and fall flat on my face. While I'm getting up I turn to see Edward right their looking me over.

"Are you okay love?" Edward whispers pulling me into his lap stroking me lovingly.

"I'm fine, you know it happens all the time."

"Even so I don't like the thought of you getting hurt. I was right outside waiting for you, I should have been in here to catch you. I'm so sorry, please forgive me." Edward begged.

"Edward calm down." I sighed. "You didn't do anything wrong, it's impossible to always catch me Edward, don't beat yourself up for no reason." I say as I give him a chaste kiss good morning.

He picks me up holding me bridal style and carries me to the couch and sits with me in his lap. "We have about twenty minutes before we have to leave. You got up extremely early this morning love." He explains and we cuddle gently relaxing.

I hold one of his hands in both of mine while his other supports my back as I relax.

"Edward?"

"Yes love?"

"If I were to give you something, something to wear, would you wear it?" I asked gently being careful to talk in hypothetical terms.

"Of course." He answers immediately, "why?" He adds afterwards curious of what I'm thinking as always.

I pulled the object I was talking about out of my pocket and fiddled with it, my hands were in the way of Edward seeing what it was but I continued to fiddle with it speaking nervously. Finally Edward couldn't take it anymore and held my chin between his forefinger and thumb to pull me up to his face.

"Bella whatever it is, I will wear it." I believed him so I timidly showed him what I held. "It was my gram's." I explain holding the ring out to him. It wasn't anything fancy, just a simple golden band that on the inside said 'together forever'. I look up at him and he's smiling lovingly at the ring and me.

I had gotten the ring purely by accident when he was gone. I had been going threw my childhood things from the time Renee came trying to get me to come to Jacksonville, and when she left she left my things behind hoping to take my mind off of Edward. I did go threw it, but all my memories left me with no feelings, I wasn't able to laugh at the happy memories or blush at the embarrassing ones. I was empty, with no emotions. But then I had stumbled on gram's ring and when I looked on the inside I had cried heartbroken sobs. When gram had died she had wished that I, her only grandchild, would get the ring. I was only a little girl back then so we had packed it away. Gran had always told me when she was alive that her ring would be mine one day and that I should give it to the person I love, the one I'm willing to spend my life with. That person will only ever be Edward, even when he was gone and I believed his love a lie that was the only truth I knew.

I had wished for a moment that I had the chance to give it to him before he left. But now I think it's better this way, I'm starting to trust him. But I'm nowhere near completely ready.

"It's beautiful, just like you my love. I'll never take it off." He slips the ring over his ring finger on his left hand. "Would you mind wearing something of mine to then?"

"Of course." I answer not even thinking about it, I was scared he would think that me wanting him to wear my gram's old ring was stupid or childish but he seemed genuinely happy about it.

Without any more hesitation he pulled a ring from his pocket and slipped it over my ring finger on my left hand. It's a simple band nestled with a few diamonds. Simple yet majestic, just like him.

"It was my mother's." He whispered hugging me gently. "I know you haven't agreed to my proposal but I would like if you'd wear the ring anyway. You could wear it on the opposite hand if that makes you more comfortable. Or if you don't want to wear it at all you don't have to, I just want you to have it. You know that I wont get my feelings hurt if you don't right? I don't want to guilt you into anything I just-" He started babbling and I quickly put my forefinger over his lips to silence him. It was so cute I smiled sweetly at him, I had never heard him babble before, it was nice that he was as confused as me. This is what I wanted, to go threw everything together with Edward. Not an immortal vampire who's always so sure he's right.

"That's okay, I like it on this finger." Edward looked surprised before breaking into his crooked grin that I love best before kissing each of my fingers and then the ring. I smiled up at him, seeing him wear something I had given him brought a great sense of pride to me. That this majestic, beautiful, perfect man was _mine_ and that he would wear something that I held dear was beyond words. I wonder if this is how he feels about me, there is no doubt that I am _his_.

We got up and headed to the car kissing each other quickly and were off to school. Edward kept one hand on the wheel and the other holding my left hand sweeping his thumb over the ring attached to my finger.

Once we got to school we walked hand in hand to our first class, whether we did until I stumbled almost as soon as we got out of the car and Edward put an arm around me instead and I held his other hand in both of mine.

Classes are the normal never ending whispers and gossip. I just wait it out and focus on Edward. Somehow, by miracles of miracles, we got out of school alive. Not to say that everyone wasn't just waiting for him to leave again, and I do mean everyone. Some, like Angela and Ben, were scared that he would and wanted what was good for me. Others, like Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley, were convinced he was just stringing me along and were ready to make fun of me the second he was out of sight. Luckily he wasn't out of sight at all, I detest the second the sun might come out.

We got home and all was well, we spent some time relaxing cuddled on the couch and just enjoying being with each other. Edward seemed very glad that we were wearing each others rings and he was smiling more then I ever thought I'd see.

"Bella." Edward spoke breaking the conformal silence. He seemed on edge, nervous.

"Hmm?" I ask turning to face him fully.

"Now Bella, I know that I am pushing you by not letting go of trying to convince you to marry me. But I want you to know I would never leave you, please just tell me what I have to do to convince you my love is forever. I hate so much about me leaving. I hate myself, I hate the pain we both went through, I hate the werewolves being here for you when I should have been but most of all I hate that you have come to doubt my love for you." Edward confessed to me. I rubbed his back soothingly. I want so much to say something that will make it all better but I don't think there is anything I can say so I just continue to try to soothe him.

"Bella, I love you. From the first time you whispered you loved me after you woke up the first night you knew I was their I had imagined marring you. I imagined you walking toward me all in white, your father in a tux glaring at me because I was stealing his baby girl but smiling because he was glad you were happy and he would know I'd take care of you. Rosalie would play the piano's wedding march because she's the best musician in the family save for me. Alice would be your bride's maid and Carlisle would be my best man. Your mother would be in the front row crying and my mother would be on the other side smiling happily and would be crying if she could. Of course I'd imagine that you would want some others to be part in the wedding, someone who's a friend, though I can't imagine which you would pick. But I'd want the wedding to be the way you want it to be, Wicca, Buddhist, Christian, as long as it'd be official. So that maybe those adolescent annoyances that we attend school with would stop drooling over you and realize that your _mine_. Of course that's not the only reason I want you to be my wife, it's simply icing on the cake. I want to do it the way I was raised, I was raised that when you felt like this that you'd marry. It took all I had so many times to not drop to my knee and beg you for your hand. Now that I'm past the point of right and wrong all I want is to be together, I don't care in what way. If you were to decide that you didn't want me, I'd be willing to be with you anyway you would allow, even if all I could be was a friend. Obviously I am profoundly glad that you wish for us to be more." Edward smiled leaning over to kiss me ever so gently.

"You put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?" I asked surprised at how detailed his fantasy was.

"On some nights you'd be quiet and then the moonlight would come in. sometimes it'd make your blanket almost look like a dress. And I couldn't stop myself from imagining you in a white gown walking down the aisle to me. The mental image was addicting, but then again what part of you isn't addicting?" Edward chuckled. I glared at him as he laughed and snuggled closer to me. His happiness was so tangible that I couldn't help but laugh as well.

"I'd probably end up tripping down the aisle to you instead." I teased.

"Anyway to get you there." Edward said but gave me a wink to show he was only kidding. I wouldn't put it past him to rush over to me to catch me, and wouldn't that make an interesting wedding?

"Or I might accidentally step on the dress and rip it in half." I said giggling, this was becoming almost a game.

"I'll make sure the dress will be double stitched." Edward chuckled.

"Of course Alice would bug us both to plan the wedding."

"I'll protect you from everything, including my sister." Edward gazed deeply into my eyes, and I promptly forgot about what we were talking about. "I want the wedding to be something you want it to be, not what everyone else wants." Edward continued smirking at his ability to dazzle me.

"What?" I asked, still not completely out of his eyes yet. Edward laughed outright at this, with his head thrown back and his chalets of laughter filling my room. I had no idea how much I had missed him being like this until just now. I would give anything to have him always like this: carefree and happy. He is so handsomely adorable that I cant resist leaning up to peck his lips. He growled an almost catlike purr as I pulled away. He pulled me even closer to him gently.

"I do wish that you'd say yes to marrying me, but I want what will make you happy Bella." Edward whispered to me.

I snuggled into his chest trying to hide my reaction to his words. But, of course, that didn't work.

"What is it sweetheart?" Edward breathed running his hands threw my hair.

"I don't know what will make me happy anymore. I don't know which way is the right way and it's driving me insane." I shuddered against his chest.

"I don't understand Bella, what are you saying?"

"I want to marry you, but I'm scared that it won't work out," I confess.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked, "you can tell me anything you know." He continued on when I didn't answer.

"When I was younger and I started to see that most kids lived with both of their parents I asked Renee why I didn't. She didn't want me to know the real answer so she told me that when they got married they weren't ready for it so they weren't prepared and it all came crashing down. I know the real reason isn't that but it still scares me."

"What is the real reason then?" Edward asked studying me closely. He saw, I knew, that I made a face when I said the real reason.

"Me. They never wanted to get married, Renee just got pregnant. If I hadn't ever existed they'd probably be still married and happy." I shrugged, stating all of this matter-of-factly, I had come to terms with this years ago.

"What do you mean!? Don't you dare ever talk like that again Isabella Marie Swan!" Edward growled at me. "Don't you ever blame yourself for that or wish you weren't born. I would be lost without you, I need you. Never ever say that again."

"It's true though Edward. I heard Renee tell one of her friends. She thought I was in bed asleep but I heard every word she said. 'If it wasn't for that little bitch, Isabella, I'd be with that asshole.' Charlie had just gotten a huge bonus at the time, but I didn't find that out till a bit later. She treated me with scorn for about a week, but her tune changed really quick the second that she needed me to do something."

"What kind of monster is you mother?" Edward asked looking slightly horrified.

"She is a selfish flake, for so long I've defended her. The only thing I had to defend her with is me, I didn't turn out so bad, but I think that she might be all those horrible things people say she is. It feels like she didn't raise me, it feels like I raised myself. Does that make me a bad person for thinking that?" I ask looking up at Edward. I hope he thinks not, I shouldn't of told him that. His features softened as he looked at me.

"Not at all, it is a wonder how you put up with her so long." Edward whispered putting a strand of hair that was in my face behind my ear. He kissed me on the forehead. "With parenting like her's I'm surprised all you came out with is a fear of marriage…and an inability to see yourself clearly. Did she _ever_ tell you how special you were?"

"Renee ever focus on anything that wasn't a direct correlation to her? No, she was always to busy going off on her latest obsessions to worry about that." I shrugged, she isn't the best mother around but she's the only one I've got. At least she has never beaten me. Edward looked completely disturbed by this before fierce determination crossed his features.

"I will tell you then, every day I'll tell you how special you are to me. How I couldn't live without you." Edward nodded simply.

"But you can." I disagree, "you can live without me Edward. I'm the pathetic one who can't even go a few minutes without you right beside me without having a mental breakdown." I wasn't exaggerating either, I had hidden it from him well but every time I leave for a human moment or fall asleep or even flipping blink I'm afraid he wont be there.

"It's not just you love, I'm so scared all the time that you'll figure out that your better off without me. All the time I'm scared of that, it practically cripples me. You will never be without me unless you choose. I will never leave you ever again." Edward sighs and I freeze.

"Edward you have to stop doing that."

"Doing what?" He asks so innocently, is it possible that he really doesn't realize what he's doing?

"Stop treating your lack of experience to my thoughts as the absence of my thoughts. Stop acting like just because I haven't lived for a hundred years that I don't understand my own mind. Stop just deciding that you care more and that it's impossible for me to feel as strongly for you as you do for me. Just stop, it only leads to pain for the both of us."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that your so convinced that you love me more then I love you. It hurts Edward, after everything your still convinced that you love me more. Your so sure that your love is worth more or whatever it is. Why are you so hell-bent of making sure to treat my love as if it's only a tree to a forest. Do you have any idea of how it feels to give your whole heart to someone and them to be completely convinced that it's nothing compare to their love? Do you?"

He is about to speak but I raise an eyebrow at him and he falls silent. He knows as well as I do that I would _never_ belittle his love. His eyes widen and his face becomes ashen as he slowly begins to realize what I must feel every time he implies that I don't love him as much as he loves me.

"Oh Bella." He mumbles still shocked. "Please forgive me. I-I never meant to make you feel like I didn't appreciate your love. I had no idea you felt this way." Edward looked at me hurt and sad.

"I was afraid to tell you." I answer, "I was scared that you'd get mad, you always start brooding whenever you get mad. I'm ashamed to say that it is one of the most hurtful things you can do to me. You always look so mad and ashamed of me that I beat myself up for days about it." I sigh.

I know I shouldn't let him know this, I should just keep him blissfully unaware of it. But if we will marry one day then he should know all the things he thinks nothing of that hurt me so badly.

Edward holds me as if I'm a porcelain doll, his hands trembling slightly, it's a good thing he's holding me so gently because I do feel incredibly breakable. I pushed those feelings so far back for so long the feel of them, all piled up after half a year being with him making those comments and another half of a year being without him, are overpowering. I can only snuggle in his arms.

"It's not just your mother's tales that you fear getting married for. It's me to. I cant believe I hurt you so much and never realized it." Edward trembles against me a bit and I rub his arm. "And still your comforting _me_ you, my angel, are one of a kind."

"If we do marry one day, we have to be honest with each other. I never told you this to protect you, but I think it's best that you know. Promise to tell me the truth about everything?" I ask pleading, I need this promise from him."I swear to you." Edward whispered, and even though I have no way of knowing if he'll keep this promise unlike his other ones it seems as if he really means it.

"Do you think one day you'll be ready to say yes to my marriage proposal?"

"Yes, I think so." I whispered kissing his lips gently.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you to."

"I know, even if sometimes I act like it doesn't matter, it does matter to me more then anything else. A vampire, we mate for eternity and their's no way possible to mistake it for something else or mistake something else for it. The only one of my family who mated to another vampire was Alice and Jasper. Emmett was turned right after Rosalie saw him and the same goes for Esme and Carlisle. I guess I saw how it was for them I was sure no human could feel this way because it was impossible. I'm sorry for not realizing that your part of it to, I'm your mate just as much as your mine."

"It's okay, just try to realize from now on that I love you with all my heart and try not to say things like that."

"I'll stop, I'm sorry. I always just tried to say it to calm myself down so I wouldn't bite you but I guess I had to start saying it out loud to." Edward smiled sweetly at me.

I smile as I relax against him. We spend awhile just cuddling. All that heavy stuff is put far away from us and were just like to normal teenagers, in love and enjoying it. For now were far from the heavy stuff.

"Bella?"

"Yes Edward?"

"Will you stay with me forever?" I'm still surprised at how much he does want to change me.

"Yes Edward, I will, just not tonight."

* * *

**Yeah...that was a little angsty. Sorry, thier will be more fluff later. Hope you enjoyed.**


	8. Sick

**Yeah, sorry for how patheticlly short this chapter is. I was trying to make it longer but honestly I just couldnt. I hope you enjoy it but I just couldn't seem to milk more out of this chapter without having long staning affect on the story. I hope you like this anyway, besides I wasn't going to update this till I got a chapter done for one of my other storyes so just count this as a nice surpise. Kay? **

**Happy reading XD**

* * *

I woke up groggy and incoherent. I'm warm…too warm. I try pushing off the covers and that makes my skin cool, but my insides still feel on fire. With that realization, I notice everything else just seemed to come through. My head hurt, and not just a dull ache, it throbbed. My throat felt on fire, like a campfire was burning in it and I was parched which only added to the pain. I couldn't move without aching, like when I was twelve, going with Renee on one of her fitness obsessions, and I did fifty lunges with twenty five pounds in each hand. I couldn't move the next day but this felt worse. Surely I cant be just sick, I must be dying.

Thank goodness it's at least Saturday, at least I don't have to worry about missing school. I rolled over and used almost all of my strength to flip the pillow to it's other side, it felt cool and I relaxed. But it wasn't long before it was warmed to and I was still sweating. I don't know how long I stayed like that but eventually Edward came to me.

"Bella?" I groaned out, trying unsuccessfully to answer him. "Bella!" He ran to me picking me up and I couldn't resist snuggling into his stone embrace. He felt so good, so nice and cool.

"Bella your burning up. What's the matter?" Edward asked his voice shaking slightly.

"I think I'm sick." I mumble and Edward picked me up so quickly I felt like I was going to throw up. "Careful Edward, I don't think I can handle any quick, sudden movements today.

"Sorry Love." Edward whispered before walking me to the car, being careful not to even rock me with his steps.

In no time at all were at his house and Alice jumps down looking at Edward and she starts grilling him.

"What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know Alice, that's why I'm taking her to see Carlisle."

"Is she sick?"

"Yes."

"What are her symptoms?"

"I don't know Alice! Please just let me get her to Carlisle!" Edward snapped and Jasper thankfully pulled Alice away.

"He's very worried Alice. I don't blame him, if it was you I'd be just as on edge as him if it were you." Jasper murmured to her, he was saying something else but Edward was moving to fast for me to know what it was.

Edward pulled me up to Carlisle's study and gently placed me against a chair. Carlisle began talking not seeming to need Edward to talk, he no doubt heard Edward talking to Alice.

"Bella, what do you feel?"

"Well…I feel really warm, and my head hurts and so does really everything else and my throat is really sore." I finished trying to say it past said sore throat wasn't at all pleasant.

Carlisle did several medical tests on me. I was too out of it to tell though, all I could feel was the sound of moving. After awhile Carlisle spoke.

"Edward…she has the Spanish Influenza."

It felt like the world stopped moving. I could feel Edward go rigid beside me. I immediately tried to move my hands up to comfort him, this was the disease that killed his parents and would of killed him if Carlisle hadn't changed him.

"Bella save your strength. A few antibodies and you'll be good as new but your going to feel the symptoms of the disease for awhile."

"How long?" I asked but it sounded more like 'Hw-ln_ggg_' luckily their vampire hearing picked up what I was trying to say.

"Everyone's different, some feel it for up to a week or two after they get treatment others only feel it for a couple of days. We got to you early, you'll be just fine soon." I nodded at this. "Have you thrown up any Bella?"

I tried to shake my head but I could give barley an inclination so I tried saying it. I only got the first part of a syllable out.

"Save your energy love." Edward whispered sweetly to me. "No, she hasn't," he told Carlisle.

"Well that can be one of two things. She could not be that far along in the disease and that is good, or she could have nothing in her stomach to throw up."

Edward pulled me close to himself and stroked my hair lovingly. I curled up next to him coughing dryly against him, aggregating my already painfully sore throat.

"Either case it is important that she gets nutrient soon." Carlisle spoke to Edward in a medical voice before turning to me. "Bella, do you think you can hold anything down?"

I don't think holding it down is the problem, getting it past my throat would be. Of course they could always inject the nutrients in me through a vain but that sounded equally bad.

"I think so."

"Let's try with water first." Edward whispered quickly running a soothing hand through my hair, down my face and finally along my throat. He kept doing that as Carlisle went downstairs to get a glass of icy cold water. He came back and Edward immediately supported my head and got a little of the water to go down. It was soothing and I sighed contently with it. Edward smiled lovingly at me and whispered sweet nothings as he gave me more. It felt so nice and the water was cool and gentle.

I don't know why it happened, perhaps Edward got caught up in easing my pain or perhaps bored and he wished to speed things up. What mattered was it happened, Edward tipped the glass a little too much and more water then I was ready for came sloshing into my mouth. I gagged and coughed and Edward looked petrified at this. He rubbed my back soothingly and I coughed a few more times. The water did help though and I wondered dimly how much of the ache had been thirst.

"Bella, I'm sorry love. Are you okay?"

I did my best to nod. Rubbing my throat gently while Carlisle took the glass from Edward and he softly wiped my mouth with a napkin.

"I think she swallowed an ice cub, Edward." Carlisle said studying the glass. Edward's only response was to start up stroking my face as I snuggled into him.

"She's so warm Carlisle, she's too warm. What's her tempature?" Edward shook gently almost trembling.

"Relax Edward, it won't help her for you to lose control while holding her." Carlisle said gently as possible and Edward immediately went completely still. Almost a second later I felt someone put something underneath my tongue. I held still because I knew exactly what it was, a thermometer.

"She's 99.8. I think we should take her to the hospital." I groaned at this, I hated hospitals and everyone knew it. "Okay-" Carlisle started to say before Edward cut him off.

"What do you mean 'okay' Carlisle? She needs to go to the hospital." Edward said lifting me up too quickly and I groaned again.

"Easy son, don't do any sudden movements. I was saying that as long as her temperature doesn't rise at all, she'll be fine. Let's try again." Carlisle said putting the thermometer under my tongue again. "See just as I thought. Her temperature's 99.799 now, it's getting better."

"Carlisle I've been to medical school I know that if she get's too cold she'll be even worse off." Edward said desperately.

"No son, if we take her to the hospital all they'll do is put ice on her, which you basically are already doing. They'll give her an IV in order to get nutrients into her, but she's shown that she can swallow."

"I still think it'd be best if we took her to the hospital." Edward said but sat down gently.

"Edward, think about it, she doesn't want to go to the hospital, it's my day off so I can watch for any bad signs, Alice could see if anything bad would happen in Bella's future and we can easily rush her to the hospital, and I'll see if your brothers can go get a few things for the hospital to take care of her if their's no time to get her to the hospital. Just in case."

Edward finally relented and started humming my lullaby and soon I was asleep. I woke up several times but mostly spent the day asleep.

I woke up to Edward telling me how much he loved me, I smiled and stroked his face and told him I loved him to. No one else was in the room.

I woke up to Alice talking and when she saw I was awake she promised I wouldn't have to endure Barbie Bella for a long time. I smiled and Edward chuckled still holding me.

I woke up to Jasper putting his hand on my forehead. "Your getting cooler, soon you'll be all better." He smiled and I immediately felt much better and Jasper grinned. I felt Edward's lips mouth a silent 'thank you' to him.

When I woke up on my own Esme had some soup for me to eat. It was delicious and I thanked her, then I noticed my throat didn't hurt anymore. Edward was completely relived about that.

Carlisle checked my temperature directly after I finished lunch. Insisting I do the dishes, however Edward simply picked me up and walked off when I refused to have Esme do them. He said it was almost normal and that we caught it in time.

Emmett walked down and talked to me for awhile, he even whispered. Knowing Emmett I was insanely grateful for his excised restraint to whisper. Rosalie stood to the side and smiled at me. That was the most she'd ever done, especially after I told her off the first time I came back here.

I was told to keep taking the medicine and Esme called Charlie for permeation to spend the night with Alice. I slept in Edward's room that night. He laid on the couch and I laid on top of him with a light cool sheet over me.

"I'm sorry I don't have a bed love. This can't be comfortable."

"It's okay Edward, I love you." I said, I didn't want him getting all angst-ed out about not being able to take "care of" me. I am independent. I just couldn't really do anything because I was so sick and all I wanted to do was cuddle into his arms.

I did precisely that.

I cuddled into him as he told me he loved me. I slept as he held me. It felt so good, it felt like us. That is not to say that I'd fall back into the old pattern of before, but maybe I'm staring to get over the hurt. Were no where near past it, but I think were getting their, more each day.


	9. Glad

**Okay, I better warn you now. Most of you will hate me after you read this chapter. If you are a hard-core Jacob fan please don't read this. **

After I started to feel a bit better, about a noon the next day, I went back to my house. Carlisle reminded me to take the pills, but I already knew that. I took his saying with a smile, I know he only did it because they all cared about me.

Once I got home, with Edward glued at my side, I was open upped to doing whatever I felt like. Charlie left a note saying he was going fishing with Billy for the rest of the week and that if I felt even a little under the weather I should call him, he promises to answer his cell phone. That means he actually took his cell phone out in the boat, he usually would leave it at the house. He must really be worried about me.

"What would you like to do Bella?"

"I don't know." I answered Edward stretching a bit. "Maybe we could just hang out and read or watch a movie." I smiled at the idea of a sweet afternoon of just being together, we were about seven months behind on that practice and I fully intended to make up for lost time.

"Whatever you want." He said with my favorite crooked grin, I smiled back and headed into the kitchen to get a glass of water first. As I was turning I saw a sheet of paper written in bold black sharpie. **BELLA LISTEN TO THE VOICEMAIL.** I raised an eyebrow, it's a little out of charter for Charlie to write in all capital letters in sharpie but this is defiantly his handwriting. It must be really important. I shrugged and pushed the button labeled 'Voicemail'.

"_Hi, you've reached Charlie and Bella, leave a message. Or, you know,…don't."_ Came my voice and I heard Edward chuckle at the message I set up and I felt myself blush at that.

"_You have ten new messages._" Came the automated voice, ten messages? That was a lot, I felt my eyes widened and looked at Edward who looked as surprised as me. _"First message:"_

"_Hey Bella."_ I froze as I heard the voice, Jacob Black, wouldn't he leave me alone? What on earth could he want? _"Listen, I'm really sorry. Your not ready to admit that we are perfect for each other and I understand. Okay, not really, but I'll try to. So, yeah, I'll see you later." _I stared at the phone handle with my mouth open in what I'm sure is a face resembling a fish. What in the world? He thinks he can just give off a simple voicemail saying he's sorry and thinks it's all going to be okay. That's not what makes me mad, before he was trying to tell me he was sorry for forcing himself on me, now he's saying he forced himself on me _before I was ready? _That makes absolutely no sense. And he'll try to understand? It's a little late for those words, plus from what he's saying the rest of the message is that he'll try to understand me until I realize that I love him. That's never going to happen, I will only love Edward-no matter what. I looked at Edward as if he could explain the strange voicemail and what had happen to the Jake Black that I knew but he was glaring at the phone as if it was a stand in for the real Jacob Black. The automated voice came back on.

"_To replay this message: press four. To reply: press eight. To erase: press seven." _I didn't give it time to finish telling me everything I could do, I just pressed seven. _"Message erased. Nest message:"_

"_Bella, why haven't you answered? Billy says that Charlie told him your sick and your staying at the Cullen house. Call me." _Not bloody likely, I pressed seven without even pausing to listen to the machine.

"_Message erased. Next message:"_

"_Bella I'm really worried about you, I get it. Your mad. But please, please, please, at least call and tell me your okay."_

Again I pressed seven. Before I would of felt guilty for ignoring him when he was worried about me. But now I could tell the underlining tension in his voice wasn't worry. I don't think I have the vocabulary to name the emotion but I can tell now that he isn't worried about me, he worries about why I'm at the Cullen's house. More specifically, Edward's house. Why does he act like he's my boyfriend or something? I've told him time and time again he's like a brother to me.

The rest of the messages I pressed seven the second that I heard Jacob's voice. On the last one I, thankfully, didn't hear Jacob's voice instead I heard Angela's.

"_Hey Bella, I'm going to a doctor's appointment on Wednesday. Well, I was wondering if maybe you could, you know, get the assignments for me in fourth and fifth period since we have them together. Okay, and well bye."_

I smiled and quickly pressed eight to reply to her message. Instead of anyone answering I heard an automated voice of Mr. Weber.

"_Hello, you have reached the Weber household. Please leave a message and we'll get back to you. And may God bless you."_

"Hi Angela, it's Bella. Sure I'll defiantly get you the assignments." Was all I said before hanging up.

"Well that was unbelievingly annoying." I said referring to nine messages from Jacob when I was gone for a little over a day. Edward's only response was to stare at me long and hard, "what?" I finally asked him.

"That kid really irks me. But I'll put up with him as long as he makes you happy, I understand that he must really be a good friend of yours." Their was an underlining tension in Edward's voice that I quickly realized was anger. He loathed for me to be friends with a werewolf, but he wouldn't get in the way of me being one's friend-because that'd make me unhappy-the loving gesture caused me to lose my breath for a second.

"Friend? I wonder what happened to my friend." I finally said, mostly to myself, once I regained my breath.

"What?" Edward asked shocked.

"Jake Black is my friend, that-that _thing_ he has become isn't. My friend would never force me to kiss him, my friend would never leave calls on my voicemail basically telling me to leave you and come to him, especially since he knows better then anyone what your leaving did to me. I don't know what Jacob is anymore, but he's defiantly no longer my friend." I hated saying this and I felt a few tears slide down my cheek.

Oddly it felt almost like closure, like I was finally admitting that Jacob wasn't who he used to be. It almost felt like the time after my Gran died, when I was starting to stop having sobs ripped from my chest. I don't think that the Jake Black I knew is even alive anymore. The person who I used to trick-or-treat with, who I used to play in the sandbox with is, figuratively, dead.

And in his place is Jacob Black, the werewolf.

I don't know if it's being a werewolf that caused this, or if it's the hormones of adolescence. It doesn't even matter anymore, maybe one day the Jake Black from then will come back. But for now I can't stay his friend, it only hurts everyone. It was dumb of me to think that staying his friend in the first place, he doesn't see the world like I do. He sees us as werewolf, vampire, and human, I see us as Jacob, Edward, and Bella. He sees as why do I love a vampire and not a werewolf, I see why do I love Edward and not Jacob. And that answer is easy, I love Edward more then anything else my heart is his, even when it was shattered it was his.

I sighed and punched in the Black's home phone number for the last time. Edward watched me with a tight expression and I tried my best to not look into his eyes so he wouldn't know how much what I was about to do hurt me. Jacob answered half way through the first ring.

"Bella!" Jacob sounds so happy that I was calling him, it only made what I was about to do so much more difficult."Jacob, listen, stop calling me. We can't be friends, you're not the same anymore. I don't know if it's because you're a werewolf or because you're a teenage boy but I can't be friends anymore. Goodbye Jacob, I'm sorry we can't be friends. Maybe one day you'll be the same Jake that you were before, but I have accepted you may never be that way. Just know that I'll always think of you as a brother. Goodbye Jacob, I'll miss you." I said before hanging up with a small tear escaped my eyes.

I turned and saw Edward looking at me with a shocked expression. I blinked a few times, causing tears to fall, wondering why he looked shocked. Surly it was obvious that I wouldn't be Jacob's friend anymore.

"I am a monster." Edward whispered stroking my cheek gently, brushing away my tears in the process.

"What do you mean?" I wondered before gasping at what he may mean. "No, Edward! This-" I gestured to the telephone "-this is not your fault. Jacob isn't the same anymore and I'd have to stop being his friend even if you were human."

"Oh, my sweet little lamb you always see the best in people. That's not what I meant, I'm glad that you are no longer his friend. _Glad_! Your hurting and I am _glad_." He sneered the word, I know this must be the worse thing for him. To be happy while I suffer, it must be destroying him and he can't help it.

"Shh Edward, it's okay-"

"No it's not. Bella your in pain, and I'm glad. If that doesn't qualify me for a monster then what does? The only person that matters to me is hurting, and I'm glad." Edward said with such disgust in his voice at himself.

"Shh Edward, relax." I said pulling him into a loving embrace, "you can't help how you feel. Everything's fine, everything's okay. Were together, just like were supposed to be. I know your not glad about my pain, your glad that Jacob won't be able to cause me more pain. It's all okay, I love you." I whispered as the last of the tears began the track down my face. Edward caught it with his finger and brought it to his lips to taste it, looking deeply into my eyes the whole time. It was such and intimate loving gesture that my breath caught in my throat.

I reached up and stroked his face gently barely touching him. He leaned in to my hand gently savoring the warmth while he closed his eyes. When I started to pull my hand away he gently clasped it to his face with his other hand still keeping his eyes closed.

When his eyes opened they were black with lust.

I blushed at his intense gaze before I leaned over and pecked his lips in a quick kiss. He growled gently holding me close to him.

I gripped his hand and lead him to the living room. I pointed to the couch before walking off to my room. Edward raised one perfect brow but did as I wished. Once I was in my room I quickly graved all of my CD's and my player before going back down. I plugged in the player and set it on the stand near the couch before I put a CD in and pressed play after making it only background noise.

I sat in Edward's lap and relaxed as the music enveloped us. He rubbed my back gently and it felt so nice, he gave a satisfied smirk when he felt me relax completely under his ministrations. I closed my eyes fully relaxing under his expert hands.

"Your so tense Love." Edward whispered. I hummed in answer, I was far to relaxed for something as strenuous as talking plus I was thinking of what Edward said earlier. About his guilt for being glad I had told Jacob to stop calling.

After awhile my neck started to lean back as I got further and further away from consciences. Edward eventually had to prop my head up with one hand. I was so close to sleep, I could feel it, but before this I wanted to allow myself to ask him some questions.

"Edward?""Yes?"

"Why did you react that way for you being glad? I don't understand it."

"Because I shouldn't be!" He yelled causing me to bolt upright. He rubbed my back reassuringly looking at me apologetically before continuing. "He was your friend and because of me you were forced to give that up. As if you don't give enough up to be with me. Me being glad, that is inexcusable."

I just sighed at this. What can I honestly tell him? Anything I would say he would see as me trying to ease his guilt. That wasn't going to stop me from trying anyway, I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it.

"Bella…do you ever wish….that I was human?" Edward asked me and I was taken aback by his question. Do I ever wish Edward was human? Before he left the answer was a straight no. Now it wasn't a full yes, but for some things I wish he'd be human.

I wish he hadn't lived so long, then he may just accept the fact that I know my own mind and what I feel. And him being born before the whole Woman's Liberation also didn't really bode well, he was raised believing men soupier to woman and that a man must protect his wife and she must obey him.

I wish that Edward wouldn't be able to read minds so he wouldn't take his lack of experience to my thoughts as lack of thoughts. So that he wouldn't just assume that because I was human and he was a vampire that it wasn't _possible _for me to love him as much as he loved me. Out of everything his leaving did that might be the thing that just hurt me the worst. That he believed that I would mourn his abstinence for a time and move on, while he spent his existence mourning the loss of me. He didn't even believe I would mourn his abstinence, he thought I'd merely miss him for a time.

I really wish he wouldn't use his vampirism to try to push me away. Always saying how a human boyfriend would be better for me, safer. That he was no good for me, almost every conversation that we would have. It's like he was saying "I love you Bella, and I don't want to leave you, so I need you to leave me."

But for other things I was glad he was a vampire. If he wasn't a vampire he would of died in 1918 and I'd never of even met him. If he was a vampire he wouldn't be able to sneak into my room every night. And one of the main reasons is that there is no guarantee that if he wasn't a vampire, if he was a normal human like me born in this time, that he'd be the man he is now.

"Sometimes." I finally answered him and saw his face immediately fall. "Usually when you're acting like I am a simple child." I added, his face brighten up yet almost immediately went wary. I didn't think it was possible to have that kind of emotions on a face at the same time.

"When?"

"When you try to push me away. How you'd say a human boyfriend would be better for me. When you left somehow convincing yourself it was the right thing. That's what I have a problem with. That you're so sure that what you do is always going to be right that you don't even bother to realize that I'm in this relationship to." He looked at me perplexed and a bit hurt. "Think about it Edward, I was never allowed to have a say in any of the serious decisions. Yes you took my feelings into account, whenever possible, but every decision altimetry came down to what you decided." He still didn't look convinced so I tried to show him a simple example. "I'm not just talking about you leaving, what about the prom? I told you I didn't want to go, that I couldn't dance. But you were convinced that you knew my mind better then I knew it myself. You forced me to go even though I didn't want to, you didn't even allow me to have a say in it."

Edward stared at me a few seconds before he started to grasp what I was saying. His face almost instantly took on guilt and shame as he realized that I was right.

* * *

**What did I tell you? Looks like one step forword and two steps back. Now for the whole bit of Jacob bashing it kind of goes with the story. Basiclly in this story Bella's a bit jaded from Edward leaving, so she doesn't take anyone's crap. Note her telling off Rosalie earlier in the story. I always thought that Bella should take more of a stand for herself in the books so I'm making her do it in this story. If your intrested in one of those sumissive Bella stories your in the wrong place. Bella might of forgiven him semieasly but she's not done yet.**

**Sorry for the bit of a cliffhanger their if I didn't end it thier it would of probaly tooken me another week to update. I'm sorry for it alwawys taking me so long to update but the thing is I have two other stories I'm working on so I do them in a cycle. Plus I read stories also. And school, friends, family, you know the drill. So I'd like to thank everyone who's reading and especally everyone who's reviewing/putting my stories or me on faviorts or alerts.**


	10. Charlie

**Yay this is the first double digit chapter for me ever! I love it. I know this is kind of short, but considering I'm supposed to be working to update Another Creature right now just go with it. I cant wait to get your guys feedback on this.**

Edward took two more seconds before he was in full apologizing mode. I just stare at him, I don't know what else I'm supposed to do really. I don't think Edward even knows what he's apologizing for, he's just apologizing. Finally he stopped and looked at me.

"Edward, why are you apologizing?" I asked, if he wasn't aware of what he did wrong than all the apologies in the world wouldn't matter.

"I'm apologizing for being a controlling bastard." Edward said looking into my eyes. "I'm apologizing for trying to tell you who you can and can't be with, when and when not. I'm apologizing for…for….for all the wrong I've done. there is far too much to count."

I stroked his cheek, he was admitting to it. That was more than I could ever hope for.

"I love you Bella. I love you so much. I can't believe what a fool I've been, what awful mistakes I've made. Bella love, from now on I'll be different. I won't ever hurt you again." Edward promised before kissing me full on the lips. Than he started talking so fast in other languages.

"Ti amo. Avrei mai potuto vivere senza di te. Mi dispiace. Non potuto mai smettere di amare si!"

"Je t'aime. Je pourrais jamais vivre sans vous. Desole(e). Je pourrais jamais cesser d'aimer vous !"

"Te iubesc. Eu nu ar putea trăi fără tine. Îmi pare rău. Mi-ar putea opri niciodată iubesc!"

"Ich liebe dich. Ich konnte nie ohne Sie leben. Es tut mir leid. Ich konnte nie beenden Sie lieben!"

"Minä rakastan sinua. Asun voisi koskaan ilman sinua. Olen pahoillani. I voisi koskaan lopettaa rakastaa sinua!"

I didn't understand a word he was saying. But the way he looked at me I'm guessing it has something to do with he loves me and that he's sorry. I can't start talking in a bunch of wired languages but I can tell him the thing he seems to love to hear most, in any language.

"I love you Edward." I whispered to him before kissing him sweetly. Edward immediately relaxed and snuggled me. After awhile I sat up and started walking to the kitchen to prepare dinner for Charlie. I was feeling a little guilty for never spending time with him so I decided to go a little bit of all out for dinner and to talk with Charlie a bit.

I contemplated what I would make for him, I needed something that would take awhile to eat so I'd have plenty of bonding time giving breaks so I don't scare him too much, while I don't want to have leftovers for a week. I was also a bit worried about his health, he's eating too much steak.

A salad is a must, that could be the appetizer. Now what to make for the main course? Lasagna would be too heavy, soup too light. I've got it! Fish, Charlie fishes almost every weekend and we've got at least three years supply of fish in the freezer. I'm not sure which type of fish I'll make but I'll figure it out later. Okay that's half the meal, now all I need is two sides and a dessert. Mashed potatoes and some kind of a vegetable. Now dessert, I wonder if Charlie will have room after all that. I remember that Grandma Swan had a special kind of cake she used to make once a year for Charlie for his birthday. Renee had tried to make it once, for my seventh birthday, and had nearly burnt the house down.

"Something wrong, Love?" Edward asked me and I smiled and turned to him.

"No, I'm just trying to decide what to make for Charlie, I feel kind of bad for him. After all he's been through, he deserves a nice meal." Edward simply nodded to me, I think he knew exactly what I was talking about. Charlie lived with me while I was a zombie for all those months. It must have killed him to see his only child in such pain and knowing no matter what he tried he couldn't understand it much less help it.

I went through the kitchen making sure that I had everything we needed, I had just gone to the grocery store not long ago so I was stocked up. I found the old recipe box my grandmother used to have right were it's always been, on top of the fridge. I went through it till I finally found what I was looking for, the little card with the words 'upside down lemon marine cake.' I quickly looked at the ingredients list to make sure we had everything and put it down for reference later. I then walked around the room gathering the ingredients for everything. I decided on salmon for the dish since it was the one I honestly found easiest to skin and clean, from the way my dad talked he found catfish the easiest, seemed that it was something personal. I also decided on peas for the vegetable, since I know the only way Charlie will eat them is if he has mashed potatoes to mix them in.

"Your silent mind is such a mystery sweetheart, please do tell. What are you making for Charlie?" I giggled at Edward, he hated that I was a mental mute. He couldn't even wait a few minutes to see what I'm making.

"Well I'm making him a creaser salad for appetizer. Salmon with a side of mashed potatoes and peas. And my grandmother's recipe for upside down lemon marine cake."

"Do you need help?" Edward asked, I smiled at him and nodded. Though I love my dad and realize I need to spend some time with him the time away from Edward will not be pleasant.

We ended up with me making the salad while Edward cleaned the fish. It was the other way around but when Edward saw me with a knife he pretty much freaked out and insisted that we switch jobs. I had tried to tell him I was handling a knife for the salad but he insisted that at least he had seen me do that and knew I was safe. I had protested until he unleashed his eyes on me. Stupid dazzling vampire.

Once the salad was done I wrapped it in plastic and put it in the fridge to cool. Edward was done with cleaning the fish so I cut it and put the pieces in a pan steaming vegetable oil and Edward leaned back and watched me as I relaxed in the familiar task of cooking.

"Does this taste good?" Edward asked holding up the recipe card.

"No, forty year old paper/cardboard doesn't taste very appetizing to anyone." I smiled at Edward to let him know I was kidding before turning back to the salmon and giving it a tiny bit of lemon spurts.

"Very funny Bella," Edward said trying to look annoyed, I would of believed he was to if his eyes weren't shining with amusement. "Is it though?"

"I couldn't say, I've never had it before. If Charlie says it's right and than tastes good I'll tell you." He nodded and went behind me and wrapped his arm around my waist resting his head on my shoulder.

I pulled the salmon off the oven and put it in the oven and than put the mashed potatoes and peas on the oven to cook. I than turned to the recipe card and ingredients sitting on the table and took a deep breath and let it out. Together me and Edward tried to figure out my Gram's metric system. How much is a pinch? A splash? Obviously this was something learned, but we didn't do too bad, I hope anyway. It was simply flour, lemon extract, the juice from three lemons, sugar, and milk mixed with half it's amount of rain water. So that's were they got the marine from, so we didn't add too much of the liquid and we used regular water and I hoped it wouldn't be a noticeable difference. We put the batter into two circular cake pans and we had it were the cake would come out before the salmon, the thing didn't take that long to bake. Edward and I quickly made the topping while we waited, mixing honey, lemon juice and orange extract, thank goodness their was a sale on lemons in the grocery store.

"Thanks for your help Edward." I said breathlessly as I piled the dishes in the sink.

"It's not a problem My Love, any time. Though I wouldn't mind a reward."

"What type of reward?" I asked turning

"This." He said before kissing me full on the mouth. I put my hands into his hair and one of his arms went around my waist and the other behind me resting on the counter. We kissed for several long minutes till I had to pull away for oxygen and I heard him groan.

"I'm glad to give you that reward. But you do know you can get a kiss anytime right?"

"Really?" He asked like he had just discovered this.

"Yep. As many as you want, as often as you want." I promised.

"You shouldn't have said that." He whispered leaning down to kiss me again when the beeping of the cake timer let us know the cake was done. I laughed as we separated and planted a quick chaste kiss on Edward's lips.

Once the two cakes were pulled out I got the cake holder and put one of the layers on by flipping the pan over and spread half the honey lemon orange mixture on it before the next layer than putting the other half of the mixture on the top. I must say the cake looked appetizing, the cake itself was a golden color and the mixture was a yellowish orange color, it almost was the color of Edward's eyes after he hunted, almost. It smelled fantastic to, like nothing I've ever smelled before. It felt citrus yet warm, I put on the lid before I pulled out the salmon and got everything ready with Edward right their helping me. After everything is set up I turn to him.

"Thanks so much for helping me Edward." I smile as he nodes in asset. "I'm going to be talking to Charlie during dinner today, it's going to be a bit of bonding time so please don't listen." I whispered. I don't like asking this of Edward but I do anyway, if we get into how I was when Edward was away I don't want him hearing that.

"Sure love, I understand." He said somewhat stiffly. I start to try and make him feel better but he puts a finger over my lips to silence me. "Shh Love, I understand, really I do." He whispered before planting a sweet kiss on my lips. "Charlie will be here soon, I'll be waiting for you." He said before dissapering.

Two seconds later Charlie walked in the door.

"Hey dad!" I called.

Charlie walks into the room and looks around, realizing Edward isn't their. He looks at me worried but I just smile.

"Where's Edward?" He asked worriedly probably thinking that Edward might of left again and I'm insane and think he's standing next to me instead of a zombie this time.

"At his house, most likely having dinner, like were about to." I said and saw Charlie visibly relax. Whatever qualms he had against Edward he seemed to genuinely understand that Edward was key to my survival. This didn't infuriate me or scare me like it had when we first returned from Italy because now I know that I'm just as key to his survival.

We sat down and Charlie looked at the salad with a grimace.

"Okay Bella, I get it. Healthier eating, but no meat isn't that good for you." Charlie said and I laughed.

"This is just an appetizer Charlie." He relaxed for a second before tensing up. He knew that I never would make a full course meal unless it was a special event or I _really_ wanted to talk to him.

"We made it through the salad and I had already put the leftovers away and brought the salmon, peas, and mashed potatoes out before Charlie broached the subject.

"What's up Bells?" Charlie asked bringing his plate to the table.

"We need to talk." I said before taking a sip of my water.

"Bought what?"

"Everything. Everything while Edward was…away." I said looking down at my plate trying to see images in the steam rising from the food.

"I don't like Edward, you know that. After everything he's done to you I wish I could do target practice on him. If it wasn't for the fact that you look alive again I cant say I wouldn't be doing just that." I sighed as Charlie said this, I knew he felt this way. And honestly he had every right to.

"I know that dad, Edward thought it was the best for me. He's changed, not for a day but forever. He's so different now, before he was…honestly really controlling. He's been stepping out of his comfort zone and been relinquishing that control."

"Control of what exactly?" Charlie asked mad, it took me a moment before I realized what Charlie was talking about. He thought I was saying Edward would make me do things I didn't want to do…sexual things.

"Hold on dad, me and you are talking about two completely different things. I mean like I didn't want to go to the prom but he pretty much tricked me into it. Not like you were much help." I said giving Charlie a glare and he blushed and looked sheepish remembering his help in getting his clumsy daughter-who had a broken leg mind you-to go to prom in one death trap heel for her unbroken leg. "He's stopped doing that, he's letting me actually have a say in what we do. It's like before he'd think he was bad for me, pretty much because Edward is by nature a self-loathing brooder. He's accepted that I love him just how he is, that's all." I explained. "But dad, I understand why you feel the way you do. Sometimes I think it'd be simpler if I would hate him for what he'd done to me but I just cant, because I love him dad.""I understand Bella. Well not really but I'll try not to glare at him as much. But no promises kay? Someone's got to fry his ass." Charlie said trying to lighten the mood and I laughed.

"It's not like I let him off scotch free though. It took awhile for me to trust him, I don't completely trust him yet."

"I always knew you were a smart responsible girl." Charlie said and then continued when I looked at him confused. "If your mom would of showed up on my doorstep months after she left with you I'd take her back first and ask questions later. I'm glad you made him work for it a bit." I smiled at him, Charlie and I smiled at each other before I got up and put the dishes in the sink. I heard Charlie start to get up before I called to him.

"Not yet, there's still dessert." I said and he sat back down before I got two plates, two forks and one of those cake serving knives. I lifted the cake lid cut two pieces out and we settled in for dessert.

Charlie looked at the cake peculiarly and I hoped I didn't make the wrong one. Then he hesitantly cut off a piece with his fork and pushed it into his mouth.

"Bella…did you make?" He stuttered out with a blank face.

"Yes, is that okay?" I asked worried. Would this bring up memories of his dead mother? Stupid Bella. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"Of course it's okay." Charlie smiled happily at me. "I never thought I'd taste this ever again. How did you do it?"

"The recipe card, it was in the recipe box on top of the fridge."

"I know that, but it's written in pinches and dashes. How did you get it right? wasn't it your first try?""Yes." Charlie seemed amazed by that.

"It took my mom seven tries before she got it right. Thank you baby girl." Charlie smiled and I smiled back before we went back to eating the cake. Now that he'd told me I had it right I realized it did taste really good. Though their were a lot of lemons it didn't taste overly lemony. It was sweet and bright with a bit of tang. Afterwards we put the dishes in the sink and Charlie hugged me.

"Your growing up so fast." Charlie whispered and I hugged him tighter. Poor guy barley ever got to see me, once a year and this whole past year, I could see why it'd fly by for him.

"Their's more cake in their," I said pointing to the dish covering the cake. "And I can make more whenever you want some." I promised."Thanks kiddo, and let me do the dishes. You made one mean dinner." I smiled and headed up to bed.

After a shower, followed by shaving my legs and armpits and changing into a nightgown Alice had insisted on getting me. It was a deep navy blue and came to my knees and had loose sleeves. I brushed my hair and brushed my teeth before walking into my bedroom yawning. I looked around and I didn't see Edward I walked to put my bag of totalities away and noticed my ring wasn't on the dresser where I put it before I went into the shower.

I started to freak out, I knew logically their were plenty of explanations for this but everything gone and Edward nowhere to be found hit way to close to home. Before tears could feel my eyes I felt Edward's ice cold arms wrap around me and quickly turn to see him and hugged him tightly.

"What is it love?"

"You were gone, and the ring was gone and it reminded me of." I didn't finish my sentence Edward simply kissed me.

"I'm sorry, Esme wanted to see it so I quickly went to get it to show her. I'm so sorry sweetheart."

"S'okay." I mubbled before pulling him into the bed.

"Nice nightgown." Edward whispered.

"Thank Alice, it was a gift." I said looking at what he was wearing. Pajama pants in the exact same color as my nightgown. "Alice?" I asked and he just smirked.

"This time I'm getting her five porches." I laughed before cuddling him. I fell asleep that night dreaming of a wedding.

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**Okay so what Edward was saying when he was talking in diffrent langues is "I love you, I could never live without you, I'm sorry. I could never stop loving you!" in Italian, French, Romanian, German, and Finnish in order, I don't speak any of these langues I used Bing Translator. The cake Bella made that was her grandma's recipe doesn't exist, I made it up. I hope you all liked this. Please review.**


	11. granddaughter

**Okay as most of you probaly already know this chapter is short, unbelivingly short-I'm kind of embaresseed to post this. But after my last update some of you were saying you want to see quicker updates so I'm trying my best to cater to you guys so try to work with me. I need to know if you would want a update as short as this every few days or to take a few weeks and make a nice long chapter? But for this chapter it's probaly best it's short sweet and shocking. I won't tell you why, you have to read and find out. Arn't I evil? ;)**

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I was laying in My Love's bed, she had asked me not to listen to her and her father's conversation. At first it had hurt because I wanted to be part of everything with Bella, but I understand, sometimes she needs to have a private conversation that she doesn't have to worry about me hearing. She had looked so heartbroken when she asked me that and I knew she didn't like doing it. When I heard Charlie ask where I was I cringed at his thoughts.

"_Where is that boy? He can't be gone because Bella wouldn't be talking if he was."_That thought came with a painful image of My Bella. Only she wasn't My Bella, her bottomless brown eyes were flat and lifeless, her luscious hair dull, she's sickly pale with deep shadows under her eyes and she's far too thin. I knew the effects my absence had on Bella, when I came back she was just as thin, I saw the bags under her eyes and the paleness of her skin, I noticed the absence of her essence in her room. But the one thing was her eyes, they had life in them again. I hate seeing what I did to her, I deserve to bleed, to burn, to suffer for all I did.

I realized that they would be having their conversation soon. I got up and prepared to go to my home, I graved the ring I had given her that she said she wouldn't wear in front of Charlie for now, not until we told him first. I was going to tell my family that she agreed, I know that we should do it together but Alice probably already told all of them anyway.

I raced to my house, the sooner I got their the sooner I could get back to My Angel. Everyone was settled in the living room and I could tell from Jasper that everyone was a mix of excited and happy.

"Congratulations!" Everyone yelled as soon as I was inside the house. I smiled at my family everyone was smiling and happy that I finally got Bella to agree to marry me. They all knew how much I had always wanted that. I pulled out the ring I had given her and handed it to Esme who I knew wanted to see it. She looked at it and smiled imagining it on My Bella's finger, I loved the image.

"Hey what's that?" Alice asked spotting the ring on my finger.

"Bella wanted to give me a ring to. It was her grandmother's, their's an inscription inside." I explained.

"What's it say?" Esme asked handing the ring back to me.

"Together Forever." I said and Esme gasped.

"May I see it?" She asked, her mind was blank with shock.

I knew that I swore never to take it off, but this seemed a strange case. I slipped it off and handed it to her and floods of memories came back to her when she saw the inscription.

_A man giving her the ring, her human memories had faded but she was holding the exact same ring Bella gave me. _

_A man with cold blue eyes telling her son is dead. Her taking off the ring and telling him to bury it with her son and to give him the name William Peter Evenson on his gravestone._

Immediately after that I went into Alice's head with a vision.

_All of us were around a computer and from the files we found the man who told Esme her son was dead lied, he and his wife wanted a child and couldn't conceive so he took one from a young girl who wasn't married. When they heard about her suicide they felt guilty that they named her son the name she wanted and gave him the ring along with telling him that his mom had died._

_William got married and he had a daughter named Marie, she had a son named Charlie and he had a daughter. My Angel, My Lovely Bella._

Bella is Esme's great-great granddaughter!

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**What did I tell you? Are you shocked yet? Just wait the shocks keep coming, wheather you guys choose fast short chapters or slow long ones were in the home strech. Maybe.**


	12. Esme's Past

**I'd like to apoligize to everyone on how long this took. It was done back in the begening of Augest, but I was waiting the whole time for it to be beta'd, so from now on, no betaing will happen. It takes far too long.**

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After Edward and I cuddled into the bed we snuggled. He was laying down using one arm to support his head and the other curled around me. I was using his chest as a pillow and kept my arms wrapped around him. It felt so nice that I started to drift off but before I could get too close to sleeping Edward took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh.

"Bella would you mind coming to my house tomorrow?" Edward asked curling his hand around in my hair.

"Um…" I trailed off, I didn't know if I should go, seems like ever time I go something bad happens. First I had a miniature mental breakdown and then Edward found out I didn't want to be changed and he hadn't reacted at all how I had expected.

"Just for a little while. We can go anytime you want, but Esme really wants to see you." I paused I did miss Esme a whole lot, she was the closest thing I ever had to a mother who would take care of me. And honestly what else could happen?

"Okay," I whispered before yawning.

"Sleep now Bella." Edward whispered shifting us so we were spooning. He rubbed my stomach gently and I held his other hand in both mine near my face. I fell asleep fast to Edward singing my lullaby.

I woke up feeling refreshed and a Edward good morning kiss. Afterwards I went into the bathroom for my human minute and came out to give Edward a proper kiss now that I was mint fresh. I dressed in a pair of jeans and Edward's favorite blue shirt. He picked me up and carried me down the stairs and sat me on his lap, he had at sometime made bacon and eggs and they were still warm. I don't know how he did it but he did, and I just ate and then we were off again to go to his didn't complain at all as I got into my truck and drove at a snail's pace-as far as Edward was concerned anyway. He simply played with a strand of my hair and cooed that he loved me. I must say, I love this lovable side of Edward. We arrived at his house and Esme was out hugging me quicker than I could blink. I loved Esme, she's like a mother to me, but this was kind of freaking me out.

"Uh, hi Esme. I missed you to." I said as she hugged me tighter. "Can't…breathe." I chocked out, what is with her?

"Oh, I'm sorry." She looked like she'd be crying if she could.

"Um Esme, are you okay?" I asked touching her shoulder gently.

"You didn't tell her?" Esme asked looking at Edward shocked.

"Tell me what?" I asked, usually when the words 'you didn't tell her?' are uttered they are followed by something bad.

"I figured it was something you'd want to tell, Mom." Edward explained, Esme smiled and mouthed a thank you before turning back to me.

"Bella, sweetie, I'm your great-great grandmother." I looked at Esme shocked, I don't know how to take the information. She had said her son had died. This had to be a joke, a really bad one.

"How?" It's the only word I can say, I don't know any other at the moment.

"My child, he didn't die! You see Bella, when I was human I wanted to go west and become a school teacher, but my parents wanted me to stay and get married-so I did. I married an abusive man named Charles Everson, he beat me on a regular basis, even more so when we couldn't conceive and he was convinced it was my fault. He finally got drafted into World War ll but unfortunately he came back and the beating happened again." Esme paused to wipe tears from my eyes that don't exist, how could anyone ever hurt such a gentle and good person as Esme? "I finally ran away while he was asleep one night, when I discovered I was pregnant, and fled north and became a school teacher." Esme continued and I sighed when she said that she had gotten away, before I stiffened remembering that bad things still have yet to be told in her story. "I told everyone my husband was dead and went back to my maiden name, Platte, I met an older couple who I thought were kind and caring. They told me that I could stay at their home and that they would take care of my baby after it was born when I went to work." Esme sighed and I rubbed her hand that I was still holding. "I know now that they weren't, they must have planned this all along. On the first day I went off to work after giving birth I came home and the man told me that my son had died. He told me that they would take care of the funeral because burying your son was something no mother should have to do, especially if that son was a newborn. I asked him to give my son his birth name on the stone telling him to do Everson which I explained was my marriage name." Esme sighed again, and Carlisle came from literally nowhere and was holding her from behind. "They at least kept to him his roots because if not I'd never realized that Charlie was my great grandson or that you were my great-great granddaughter."

I stared at Esme but I want really seeing her, I'm only seeing nothing. I don't know how to react to this news, though Esme has always been like a mother to me I feel shame almost. Esme never got to see her little boy older than a few days, and he was raised by two faced kidnappers, I feel as though it's my fault. Like their was something I should be able to do since he was my great grandfather. I know that I had no way of changing it and it happened decades before I was even born but I couldn't help feel that way.I had known him when I was extremely young, only about five or so, he had told me a story once. From the story I only remember certain parts, but I did remember one thing in particular. He had met his father at some point and felt betrayed that his mother kept him from his own father. I remember wondering what kind of mother could do that, and even though I had no way of knowing the circumstances I felt guilty of thinking that of Esme. She is the most loving, gentle, and mothering person I've ever met. I've heard stories so I know exactly how scared women who are in abusive relationships feel, that they are sure that they deserve it and that if they try to run they'll be found and beat worse than before. Esme took ten years of abuse but she ran away to defend her child, that is bravery. All the Cullen family was looking at me strangely as I stood completely still. Tears were running down my face aggregating my skin with the salt.

"I know it's a lot to take in Love, but it'll be okay." I continued to cry as Edward held me, I couldn't rein in my emotions.

"Bella, sweetheart, I'm sorry. Please don't cry Bella." Esme said looking like I'd just slapped her. Oh no! she thought I was sad that she was related to me. I quickly pushed out of Edward's hold and wrapped my arms around Esme and hugged her for all that I was worth. Esme held me and started to hush and coon to me like someone would do with an infant.

I backed away from Esme into Edward's arms. Esme was smiling at me but I found myself a little self-conscious, Esme not only lost her son but now I'm a reminder of what she's lost. Will she turn bitter towards me? I know she's a sweet gentle soul but that seems a lot to ask anyone, to constantly see what you've lost. Not even lost, her son didn't die he was kidnapped, stolen.

I was still a little emotional so Edward dragged me to one of the sofa's in the house before pulling me into his lap and Carlisle and Esme sat beside us. I looked up at Esme and realized that she looked exactly like me. How could I have not seen it before? Her caramel hair, although lighter than mine, was the same thick long straight mass as mine. She had the same nose as Charlie and the same ears as my cousin. How could I have never realized before?

"You two have the same eyes." Jasper said and everyone turned to him. "There eye shape, Bella and Esme's, there the same." He said with a shrug. Everyone turned to look at both Esme and I before all nodding. I laughed at the though. We'll we are family after all, I thought.


	13. Renee's Plan

**Yes, I am not dead! I'm so sorry on how long it's taken me to update. I for the longest time didn't know where to go from last chapter but I decide on this. Be warned, their isn't any abuse but it does bring up selling daughters to slavery, if you have a trigger or bad memories just skip to the bottom author's note. Oh, and in case you can't tell, I hate Renee.****

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I headed home with a new tie to the family, I had always thought of Esme as my mother, but turns out that she actually is...close enough anyway. I had never known how it'd feel to be mothered, Renee had never really been one for being motherly. I love her, but I can admit that she never really tried to be a parent, Charlie won't be getting any "dad of the year" awards anytime soon, but at least he _tries _which is a whole lot more than I can say for Renee.

Edward had to leave because Charlie would be home soon and also he wanted to go hunt. He'd been making do with the easy game around the forest but if he didn't stop he could seriously damage the ecosystem. So I simply told him to get his butt over to somewhere with larger predators or I'd call his brothers to take him on a weekend long hunting trip. So with a kiss goodbye and a promise to be back sometime around midnight he jumped out my window.

I started gently spinning around my room, I'm in such a great mood. I found out Esme is actually close to being my mother, I have my family and Edward, what more could anyone want? I can't believe I'm engaged! Well technically I'm not yet, I am trying to come to terms with it but each day I want for that to happen more and more. I love Edward so much, he is so patient and sweet to me, even when I rejected his proposal. I sighed quietly as I felt myself calm down, what a lovely day today was.

I fell on my bed and giggled slightly, everything is going so right. Nothing could go wrong.

"Bella!" I shot up to see Renee standing in my doorway with a shocked Charlie behind her.

God damn you, Murphy!

"What are you doing here, mom?" I was genuinely shocked to see Renee here, but something tells me her visit will be far from pleasant for all parties.

"I came here to bring you down to Florida. Hurry up and pack." She said it so simply, like she was sure I'd do it.

"...Why?"

"Charlie called and said you and that boy were getting serious. He says he has the feeling that he would propose and I remember how intense he is about you. So you simply say your moving in with me and he won't have time to guilt you into marriage." Renee said simply.

I just stared at her and Charlie did to, we were obviously both thinking the same thing. "What the hell is this woman smoking?"

"Mom, I'm not moving to Florida."

"Of course you are, now hurry up and pack." Renee said in a condescending tone. "Your my child and you have to do what I say, so pack."

"No I don't, I'm eighteen-legally an adult. I'm not a child nor under your roof, you have no say in anything I do."

"Isabella Marie! That boy is a horrible influence on you, but I'll put up with it for now. You are my daughter and you are coming with me!" She actually stomped her foot like a toddler. Something about her behavior is off though, her tantrum meter is directly responsive to how much she wants something. What could she want so much that needs me to be in Florida?

"What's the reason you want me in Flordia?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"For your own good, of course. Nancy was just telling me about how wild young girls can be with their boyfriends, I just don't want you to make my mistakes." That sounded almost mothering like, but who is Nancy? No! Not Nancy Kingsly! I hate the Kingsly family with a fiery passion.

"And would you wanting me to go to Flordia have anything to do with the Kingslys?" I asked with ice in my tone.

"Oh yes, the Kingsly's have just moved in to Florida in that big house across the street from mine. They say Arthur has been asking about you."

Now it makes sense.

"Renee, I don't know how many times I have to tell you and them this to get it through your head but I'll say it again. I have never nor never will feel anything for Arthur Kingsly. I never even viewed him as a friend. And why would you want me to be around Arthur, who is an aroggonent idiot if my memory serves me correctly, and not Edward, the man I'm sure is it for me."

"Bella, don't be such a child, you sound like every other infactuated teenager since the beganing of time. The Kingslys are a respectful family! Not a bunch of nature freaks who don't bother with society."

"I don't care how others view them. I love Edward, and his family happens to be some of the nicest people you'd ever want to meet."

"It doesn't matter! If your so sure of getting settled then come to Florida, I'm sure Arthur will want to marry you." Renee sighed like she was disappointed in me.

"**What? **You must have lost your mind, why would I ever marry-" and just like that it all made sense. "How much did they offer you to hand me over?"

"Twenty thousand up front, and a thousand every six months for ten years. If their that willing to pay money for you than you can have a good life." Renee smiled like I was finally seeing reason. Charlie was looking shocked, disgusted, and sick at the same time at Renee, and I have to say I agree with them. Who sells their own daughter?

And just like that, I lost it.

I jumped forward and my fist connected with her nose. While she was on the ground I just kept on punching her again and again and again. I lost all thought until Charlie pulled me off of her and dragged me to the living room.

I didn't hear anything then, I was just sitting on the couch crying my eyes out. It all made sense now, how could I have missed it? All the time Renee said it wasn't normal for a seventeen year old girl to never have a boyfriend and saying for me to go out with the Kingsly boy was her trying to get me warmed up to the idea of her selling me like a slave.

And then Esme was here holding me close, I could do nothing more than wrap my arms around her. My mother.

"I'll take her to my house." I heard my mom say.

"Thank you Mrs. Cullen."

"Hey, who are you? Where are you taking Bella?" I heard the other one, the one who claims to be my mother, say. Esme, my mom, pulled me out the front door and to Edward's car as I heard Charlie yell at Renee. Something about being a thin line away from prostitution.

"Oh baby girl, are you alright?" Mom asked me, I nodded to her, she forced a smile, her golden eyes full of worry. "Do you want Edward?"

"No, he needs to eat." I shook my head, the poor guy was starving as it was.

"He'd want to be here." She said in the mothering tone I loved and I nodded slightly. What is it about mothers that make you see reason? She pulled out her cell phone and quickly dialed his number.

"Edward...she's fine I think...Renee came to her house...I don't know exactly what but it really upset Bella." Here she paused shortly before starting again. "Edward! Calm down, Bella is on the way to our house, she's physically fine...I don't know what happened. Come home and we'll work through this."

"Edward's coming home, I promise Bella everything will be okay." She told me and I nodded. We soon arrived at the Cullen household. Esme took my hand as we got out of the car and we walked together to the house.

"Bella? What's going on?" Alice asked, she knew that something was off even if she didn't have a vision.

"Hold on till Edward gets here, dear." Mom told her as she led me to the couch and sat holding me until Edward got their.

"Bella!" I heard him growl before I saw him and in a blur he was beside me and Esme handed me over to him. I held him close and sighed as I inhaled his unique, calming scent. "Love, what happened?"

"Renee tried to sell me."

"What?" My whole family screeched at the same time.

"She tried to sell me."

"What do you mean she tried to sell you?" Emmett asked looking slightly ill.

"She tried to sell me to the Kingsly family." The others must have said something but I couldn't hear it above Edward's growl.

"Bella, I think you should start at the beginning." Jasper said and I felt a wave of calm descend upon the room.

"Where we lived in Arizona Renee was friends with a woman named Nancy Kingsly that she met at a country club. She had a son named Arthur, who is the creepiest person I've ever met." Edward held me closer as if to protect me.

"I knew him from the time I was in about second or third grade, and he was the meanest, most arrogant, guy I'd ever meet. He was a bully in all terms of the word and I was the only one to stand up to him, that's when he started getting creepy." I shuddered at the memories of his intense stare and how he'd hug me and refuse to let go.

"What does this have to do with your mother selling you?" Rosalie asked with a sneer, Edward growled at her, his eyes black.

"She's getting to it. If you don't want to listen, get lost." Jasper said before Edward could say anything.

"This insigneficant human won't force me to do anything." Rosalie said self importantly with a flip of her hair. I decided to ignore it and continue.

"When I was about fourteen and a...half? Somewhere around there, Renee kept pressuring me to date. And not just any guy, she pressured me to date Arthur Kingsly.-" When I said this Edward pulled me into his lap and curled around me holding me closely, protective and possessively.

"But I never did, Renee tried to get me to with saying things like this wasn't the eightneen hundreds. But I wouldn't and I stayed by my decision. Then Renee came and told me to come to Flordia and she mentioned a Nancy and I just relized who she was talking about and that she was trying to sell me to Arthur Kingsly."

"Like a prostitute?" Emmett asked and Edward growled a demonic sound. "I'm not calling her one! That's just how Renee was treating her!"

"Shh...it's okay Edward. Emmett's right, Renee was acting like I was a piece of property-to sell how she saw fit." I whispered rubbing his back soothingly.

"I-I...ack!" I turned to see Rosalie look positively green and then she ran away, my face must have been a question mark but everyone simply shook their heads.

"Charlie said that you could spend the night here, while he takes care of Renee. Would you like that?" Mom asked me.

"Very much." I whispered as Edward lifted me up.

"I have a surprise for you in my room to," Edward whispered to me. I smiled at him before going to Esme to give her a hug.

"Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight...Mom." I whispered trying out the word that I had been flirting with in my mind and she gasped before hugging me tighter.

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**Okay first for anyone who may have just skipped down here's what hapened: Renee wanted to sell Bella to the Kingsly family, the son-Arthur wants her. They offered Renee a shit load of money for her. Bella snaps and beats Renee up, and Esme takes her to the Cullen house, she tells everyone what happened and ends with her spending the night. Before she goes to bed she says goodnight to Esme, calling her mom.**

**Okay, so Bella was nearly sold, Renee isn't that nice, is she? The Cullens may have to exact revenge. I wonder how Charlie will handle this...**

**If you can't tell Rosalie is shocked because this is basically what her parents did to her, only she was all for it and the King's didn't offer to pay the family.**

**King-Kingsly. See what I did there?**

**Okay, I wonder how you all liked it, tell me in a review.**


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